From Where I'm Sitting
by ilovetvalot
Summary: When JJ realizes that something isn't right with her son, she realizes that there really isn't any sacrifice she isn't willing to make. Autism is a highly emotional thing for a parent to cope with, how will two of the BAU's finest handle one child's pain
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hi guys! The FINAL voting process is well underway for the Second Annual Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards hosted by Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Links can be found on our profiler pages. Please come on over and take a look at this year's incredibly talented nominees and their stories. Two random voters (that vote in ten categories or more) will be selected to receive gift cards from Amazon. com at the completion of this year's awards. So, take a moment and join the fun. Please PM us with any questions.**

_**And don't forget that we've got quite the collection of fellow authors and readers interfacing over at Facebook. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and/or "Tonnie Fanfiction" to join in the fun. Periodic announcements regarding our awards and ongoing work are announced there.**_

_**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our work! You guys are incredible and we love hearing from each one of you!**_

**Also, if anyone has any threads they would like to see opened at the forum, please let us know!**

* * *

**Author's Note 2 - This is the first in a series of stories about an issue very near and dear to my heart- AUTISM. My son was diagnosed with this condition at two years old. He is now nine. This story will be written from a parent's perspective. The views are mine and mine alone. I realize that not everyone sees this issue in the same way. But, as a mother (and a dad since my husband has actually offered insight into this fic) that has been dealing with a special needs child for several years, this is actually a very hard story to tell. The series installments will be sporadic but the first story is written. I have chosen to open this story up by writing Will out for a reason. I have actually had a fellow mother that experienced the dissolution of her marriage because her partner could not handle parenting a special needs child. It does happen, my friends. Thanks.**

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter One**

Swallowing painfully, Jennifer Jareau's eyes darted around the police precinct her team was based out of for their latest case. She tightened her fingers around the phone in her hand, pressing it tightly to her ear lest some of the vicious words being hurled at her be overhead by the officers milling around her.

Damn him, she silently cursed, clamping her lips together as another insulting comment about her parental skills echoed in her ear. Why did it have to happen _every_ time? Every single case she'd been called away from DC for over the past six months, all four of them, he'd done this very thing. Called her, blamed her...accused her.

She was drawing attention, whether she wanted it or not. Shooting Emily an apologetic look and pointing at the phone she held in her hand, JJ saw the dark haired agent nod back at her sympathetically. Smiling tightly and lifting her free hand weakly in thanks, JJ turned toward the door, desperate to find someplace she could handle the call in private.

Shoving the door open and stumbling into the sunshine, JJ blinked rapidly, Will's wrath gaining steam as he lapsed back and forth between English and Cajun, a sure indicator of his level of rage.

"Did you hear me, JJ? Did you hear me, damn it? Answer me!" she heard him shout into the phone as she turned into an alley beside the building, her footsteps echoing against the asphalt beneath her feet.

"Oh, I heard you Will...I always hear you," JJ said softly into the phone, leaning tiredly against the brick wall of one of the buildings bracketing the alley.

"Then maybe you should start listenin' closer," he rebuked sharply. "Damn you, I can't _do_ this anymore. Raisin' this kid...this messed up kid," he began angrily.

"Stop," JJ ground out, jerking her head up as she stiffened her shoulder. "Don't you dare talk about my son like that!"

"Whatdaya expect JJ? The kid never stops screamin'. It ain't normal!" Will shouted at her, his voice rising again, the vicious cycle once again in full swing.

Tamping down on the rage building in her, JJ asked as calmly as possible, "Where is Henry now, Will?" Lately things had escalated in her household, Henry's tantrums coming with greater and greater frequency. His pediatrician had labeled it the terrible twos with a tolerant chuckle and shake of his head. But she knew it was more than that. Her little boy's tantrums were unpredictable and violent...often ending with him banging his head against the floor or the wall, leaving JJ sometimes wanting to do the same but she couldn't since she was trying to protect her son. And sadly, there was nothing either parent had been able to do except to ride them out.

It had taken its toll on all three of them. But they were his parents, damn it. They didn't give up or give in, no matter what.

"He's at Penelope's," Will ground out, his words growing harder and colder with each passing moment. "I couldn't take it anymore."

"He's two, Will," JJ snapped, her fist clenching by her side. "From where I'm sitting, I think the toddler appears to be more mature than you do."

"You're one to talk, JJ. You're _never here!" _Will spat back, the connection crackling beneath his venom.

"Will," JJ said as patiently as she could, "this is my first time in the field in over a month. I _have_ been there. I know what it's like. But he's a child...how do you think he feels? At least you can articulate your feelings. _He can't_...the only way he has to tell us how he feels is the tantrums."

"JJ," Will replied, forcing himself to lower his voice as he sank into a chair at the kitchen table, "this is more than just tantrums. The kid looks right through us. It ain't normal. I wasn't equipped to be a parent in the first place. I sure as hell wasn't prepared for a defective one."

Eyes widening as she heard his words, JJ felt a red haze descending before her eyes. "What the hell did you just call my baby?"

"I..."

"NO!" JJ hissed sharply, interrupting whatever weak response that was sure to come. "How dare you! He's a baby, Will! He's our SON! He is NOT defective!"

"Open your eyes, chere...the kid's a dud," Will muttered.

JJ felt her face go hot and tears cloud her eyes. How? How could a father...a parent...so callously speak of their child like that? She knew Will had grown cold, but this...this wasn't acceptable. No matter what sacrifice she had to make, she'd never allow anyone, not even her child's father, to treat her baby like this. "I'll be on the first plane home," she whispered, nearly choking on the words as she attempted to control her fury.

"'Bout damned time," Will said with relief.

"No," JJ shook her head as she clenched the phone in her hand, "You don't understand, Will."

"I don't understand what exactly?" Will asked suspiciously.

"I _am_ coming home, but you aren't going to be there. I want you out," JJ said her voice rising as she paced the alley, her footsteps growing faster as her train of thought took off with a vengeance. "We're done. We're BOTH done with you, you selfish, lazy son of a bitch! I'm calling Penny and telling her that she's to keep Henry until I get there to pick him up. YOU are to stay the hell away from MY son. Forget you ever had one!" she yelled.

"You know what?" Will hissed through the phone. "Not a fuckin' problem, JJ. You and that kid have been a noose around my neck since the day he was born anyway!"

Oh, she'd like to wrap a fucking noose around his neck and watch the life drain from his worthless body. He didn't deserve the privilege of having a child. Not HER child. "Consider yourself free, then. Do yourself a favor, Will," JJ ordered softly, her words filled with deadly force. "Be gone when I get there."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hi guys! The FINAL voting process is well underway for the Second Annual Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards hosted by Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Links can be found on our profiler pages. Please come on over and take a look at this year's incredibly talented nominees and their stories. Two random voters (that vote in ten categories or more) will be selected to receive gift cards from Amazon. com at the completion of this year's awards. So, take a moment and join the fun. Please PM us with any questions.**

_**And don't forget that we've got quite the collection of fellow authors and readers interfacing over at Facebook. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and/or "Tonnie Fanfiction" to join in the fun. Periodic announcements regarding our awards and ongoing work are announced there.**_

_**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our work! You guys are incredible and we love hearing from each one of you!**_

**Also, if anyone has any threads they would like to see opened at the forum, please let us know!**

* * *

**Author's Note 2 - This is the first in a series of stories about an issue very near and dear to my heart- AUTISM. My son was diagnosed with this condition at two years old. He is now nine. This story will be written from a parent's perspective. The views are mine and mine alone. I realize that not everyone sees this issue in the same way. But, as a mother (and a dad since my husband has actually offered insight into this fic) that has been dealing with a special needs child for several years, this is actually a very hard story to tell. The series installments will be sporadic but the first story is written. I have chosen to open this story up by writing Will out for a reason. I have actually had a fellow mother that experienced the dissolution of her marriage because her partner could not handle parenting a special needs child. It does happen, my friends.**

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Two**

"Or what?" Will sneered, unconcerned.

Jaw tightening as she heard footsteps approaching her, JJ glanced over her shoulder. Nodding at David Rossi as he walked toward her, JJ smiled coldly. "Or I unleash hell on you, Will. It's that simple. You've done nothing for months but bitch, whine and complain about me...about Henry. All I've heard is how hard YOU have it...how much YOUR life has been turned upside down...and now, you've finally done the unforgiveable. You turned that venomous shit on my son. We're done. You don't want to be a father? Fine. All the better. Henry doesn't need a father in his life that considers him less than perfect, let alone a...what was it? Dud?"

"What?" Rossi mouthed in anger, his eyes narrowing as he reached JJ's side.

"You couldn't do this without me," Will snorted, evidently unworried.

"Watch me," JJ bit out without hesitation, her words clipped. "I want you gone and I want you out of my baby's life." Dropping her gaze to the slim watch on her wrist as she felt Dave's eyes lingering on her face, she stated resolutely, "By my estimation you have approximately three hours, Will. Do yourself a favor and be long gone."

"Or what?" Will asked carelessly, unwittingly speaking loud enough for Rossi to hear his snide question.

Dave had heard enough of the conversation to catch the gist of the rapidly deteriorating situation. Watching JJ's face tighten further, he gestured for the phone in her hand.

Watching Dave wriggle his fingers insistently at her, JJ's heart stuttered. But, hell, the team basically knew how bad things had gotten between her and Will anyway. And, she wouldn't turn away help willingly offered...not when her son's well being and future happiness was on the line. Handing over the cell phone, she whispered, "Thanks."

Nodding, Dave pressed the phone to his ear as Will let loose with another litany of curses. "William?" Dave asked, his voice low and even. "David Rossi," he stated, winking at JJ as he turned and paced away from the pale woman.

JJ couldn't make out the words Dave said to the man on the other end of the phone...and honestly, at this point, she didn't care. But the tone he used implied threat, she'd heard it too many times before not to recognize it now. She didn't need to know the exact words…not any more. And she could only hope whatever he said managed to penetrate Will's thick skull.

Watching as Dave closed her cell phone with an audible snap a moment later, she noted his darkened eyes when he strode back toward her.

"How long have you been putting up with that shit?" he asked, returning the phone to her hand as he met her gaze.

"Longer than you want to know about," JJ mumbled guiltily, dropping her phone back in her pocket, dropping her eyes for a bare second as she attempted to control her emotions. "Is he leaving?"

"Oh, yeah, he's leaving," Dave agreed as he nodded stiffly. "But I want you there to supervise," Dave said, jerking his head back toward the busy street. "And we need to let Hotch know what's going on before you do."

"What did you say to him?" JJ asked, almost afraid to know the details.

Dave shrugged, not looking at her as he spoke. "I simply offered him the options." Rage still burned in his gut at the things Will had said before he realized it was him on the phone and not her. No woman and certainly no child needed to be subjected to that.

And as far as he was concerned, JJ and her son would never hear that son of a bitch's voice ever again.

"Which were?" JJ prodded, frowning as she watched his face darken, his brows drawing tightly together. Oh, she knew that sign well. That was the tell-tale marker of the well-known Rossi explosion factor. Every member of their team was attuned to that very signal. And it never boded well for the idiot that dared to provoke it.

"He could walk out on his own two feet or leave in a body bag," Dave returned evenly, crossing his arms over his chest. "His choice. But, unlike you," he said with a sympathetic look at JJ, his eyes softening for the barest of moments, "I don't tolerate fools well or often. And that man is a first class idiot."

"Agreed," JJ murmured, her sigh loud even to her own ears. She wanted to feel anger, but at that moment, she had to admit that all she felt was relief. She knew that the battle was still ahead, but for once, she didn't feel so alone in the trenches. "Thanks, Dave," she said as they reached the door.

"Don't thank me until I let him survive the day," Dave grumbled, pulling the door open and placing his other hand on the small of her back as he gently pushed her inside.

"What? Wait. You can't come with me. I can't ask you to do that. We're on a case," JJ said, gesturing at the precinct.

"The case is solved...it's nothing but tying up loose ends now, JJ. And from where I'm sitting, you can't afford to make a misstep now. Your kid's on the line. Just take my help, okay?"

Nodding mutely, JJ tried to smile. But try as she might, she suddenly felt a wave of worry that threatened to overtake her. What if she couldn't do this? What if Henry truly needed more than she could offer on her own? What if…

No what ifs, she told herself sternly as she straightened her shoulders. Her son was all that mattered. And she would willingly move heaven and earth to give that little boy everything possible.

"Look, Jen," Dave said, pausing on the top step inside the lobby of the precinct, "for what it's worth, I think you're making the right decision."

"I'm making the only decision I can," JJ said simply. "The sooner Will is gone, the sooner I can get my son the help he needs."

And as he watched the slender woman disappear inside, her footsteps loud against the polished linoleum, David Rossi knew that life was about to get a hell of a lot more interesting.

But shrugging lightly as he climbed the steps behind her, he grinned. But what the hell, he liked interesting.

_**Finis**_

* * *

_**Note: So that was the kickoff of a multi-story arc revolving around a storyline that will feature the life-changing adjustments autism brings to the table. Stay tuned for the second story.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Hi guys! The FINAL voting process is well underway for the Second Annual Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards hosted by Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Links can be found on our profiler pages. Please come on over and take a look at this year's incredibly talented nominees and their stories. Two random voters (that vote in ten categories or more) will be selected to receive gift cards from Amazon. com at the completion of this year's awards. So, take a moment and join the fun. Please PM us with any questions. WE ONLY HAVE SIXTEEN DAYS LEFT!**

_**And don't forget that we've got quite the collection of fellow authors and readers interfacing over at Facebook. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" and/or "Tonnie Fanfiction" to join in the fun. Periodic announcements regarding our awards and ongoing work are announced there.**_

_**Thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our work! You guys are incredible and we love hearing from each one of you!**_

_**Please check out the new article written by our friend and co-author, Kricket Williams at the Chit Chat on Author's Forum. It is called, "The Art of the Tactful Review".**_

**Also, if anyone has any threads they would like to see opened at the forum, please let us know!**

* * *

**IMPORTANT Author's Note 2 - So, I decided that instead of a series I'd just continue this for continuity sake. This is a story about an issue very near and dear to my heart- AUTISM. My son was diagnosed with this condition at two years old. He is now nine. This story will be written from a parent's perspective. The views are mine and mine alone. I realize that not everyone sees this issue in the same way. But, as a mother (and a dad since my husband has actually offered insight into this fic) that has been dealing with a special needs child for several years, this is actually a very hard story to tell. The story installments will be sporadic as the issue can often be painful to write about, but it IS a story that needs telling. I've been in JJ's position - and believe me - there's nothing easy about it. Autism is a messy complicated condition, but these wonderful children have a lot of love to give. They just need help expressing it!**

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Three**

If she had to listen to one more excuse from the nurse standing behind the desk, Jennifer Jareau was certain that she would not be responsible for her actions. Blowing out a deep breath, JJ met the woman's dark eyes as she hissed, "Our appointment was an hour ago. When can I expect the doctor to be back on schedule?"

"Ms. Jareau," the nurse sighed patiently as she nodded supportively, "I know your appointment was scheduled for an hour ago, but this office caters to special needs children that often have their own version of what a schedule should be," she explained apologetically. "All I can tell you at this point is that Dr. McCleary is one of the best developmental pediatricians in the District. You won't be sorry you waited."

Pressing her lips together, JJ struggled to maintain her rapidly devolving composure. She knew the harried office worker was telling her all that she was able. She also recognized that she wasn't exactly at her most reasonable this afternoon. Henry had already experienced two temper tantrums today and one of them had occurred in this very waiting room just fifteen minutes ago, drawing pitying stares from the other occupants waiting for their appointments. Although this time, at least none of their looks had condemned her, mentally tossing her into the "bad parent" category. Which was definitely unlike her previous stop at the grocery store when Henry had flown into a rage for no apparent reason. Then she had been subjected to glares that spoke volumes, mainly "you're obviously the worst mother on the face of the earth."

Pinching the bridge of her nose to try and quell the sting of futile tears behind her eyelids, JJ nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry," she whispered apologetically to the nurse.

Reaching across the counter, the woman squeezed her hand gently, accustomed to seeing parents in all states of anxiety. "It's okay, Ms. Jareau. I get it. I really do. We're going to get you and Henry back into a room as soon as possible," she assured her gently.

"Thanks," JJ said, forcing herself to smile tightly at the other woman before turning and trudging back to her seat in the corner, hitching her purse up her shoulder. Touching Henry's little head as she lowered herself into her chair, she blinked back tears as he continued playing in the corner, methodically stacking legos in color coordinated piles. He didn't even acknowledge her presence, caught in his own little world that he'd created. Not for the first time, she wondered exactly how many of her son's eccentricities she'd missed.

All weekend, she'd filled out questionnaire after questionnaire, describing her child's daily life...his habits...his peculiarities. And with every page she'd completed, her gut had clenched a little more. Because based on the forms she'd spent hours diligently answering, there was nothing typical about her son. Far, far from it. She could recognize what the "normal" answers should have been to the questions she was asked. And God alone knew that she'd yearned to just lie and fill in those bubbles on the multiple choice answer form to make it appear that her son wasn't facing this battle.

But that wouldn't help either of them. And in spite of everything she was thinking, she was well aware that she needed all the help she could possibly get.

And after the strings David Rossi had pulled...and the favors he'd called in to get this slot in Dr. McCleary's booming practice, she needed to be as truthful as possible. Even when it hurt like hell.

And knowing that something was wrong with her baby...THAT hurt more than anything she'd ever endured in her life. Including watching a man she thought she'd loved walk out of her life.

Yeah, this had been a week straight out of her worst nightmares.

Henry's father was gone without a single backward glance. And while she knew that in the long run it was for the best, his easy desertion had still stung deep inside her soul. He hadn't fought for their family, small and fragile that it might be. And she could have lived with that if it had just been her he'd left. But to leave their son? The tiny wonderful person they'd created together...because he was different?

No, that was unforgiveable.

But the bitterness she felt against Will and the fates at large had sharp edges that cut into the very fiber of her soul, making her question every decision she'd ever made.

Staring at the back of her son's head, JJ smiled faintly.

Except for one.

The little boy's existence in front of her was never something she'd ever bother questioning. Henry was the one good thing about which she could unequivocally say she had no regrets. Whatever pain Will had brought to their lives, he had contributed to her son's creation and she'd always be grateful to him for that. Her son was her life. And there was nothing she wouldn't do for him. No length she wouldn't travel to get him whatever help he needed to thrive in their world.

Even if it meant braving a thousand crowded doctors' offices, she thought grimly, looking around at the packed room.

Each of the children seemed withdrawn, their eyes curiously vacant of any real emotion. In a way, it was terrifying…because those were the eyes that stared back at her when she looked at her son. She'd always assumed that her son was simply busy...unfocused...overly stimulated. But looking at these children surrounding her, she had a deep fear that there was quite a bit more to it than that. None of the kids seemed overly affectionate...much like her baby in that regard, too.

Henry had been a quiet infant, rarely crying. But as he'd grown, the quiet had slowly evolved into deafening silence...until the tantrums. Those, she still didn't understand. They occurred without rhyme or reason, no clear indicators to direct her toward a cause that she could use as a way to help him. It was infuriating, inducing a helplessness within her that left her feeling weak and powerless.

And it had to stop.

She wanted a child that would laugh and smile spontaneously. That would hug and kiss her without stiffening his little body and hesitating even as she wrapped her arms around him. That could tolerate a walk through a shopping mall without a screaming fit, drawing stares and rude comments from shoppers that were too intent on judging her son.

She wanted so many things for him. For herself. For their family.

But Jennifer Jareau was destined to learn a horrifying truth.

Sometimes, no matter what efforts were taken, parents didn't always get what they wanted. Often, they slowly and painfully learned to adjust their reality to what they were given.

Soon, she'd learn to appreciate the difference.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note - OKAY, MY FRIENDS, WE ONLY HAVE **_**THREE**_** DAYS LEFT TO VOTE FOR OUR FAVES IN THE Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Four**

"Henry Jareau," a strident voice called from behind the chairs where they sat.

Shoulders jerking at the sound of her son's name, JJ looked backwards in expectation, the scrub clad nurse standing in the open doorway smiling pleasantly at the room in general. "We're here," JJ called, quickly gathering her purse and bag as she rose. Bending over her son, she whispered, "That's us, Little Man. Let's go see what the nice doctor has to say to us," she said, forcing a smile into her voice as her son stiffened when she touched his hand.

"No!" he yelped as he shook his head frantically. "B'ocks," he stated, furiously stacking the red legos with detailed precision.

Closing her eyes for a second as she tried to find just one more ounce of energy, JJ took a deep breath. "Henry, we have to go. The nurse is waiting for us," she said as calmly as she could as her son added a green lego to another stack.

"No." He shook his head quickly, his little fingers carefully arranging the plastic toys. "B'ocks."

"I pway," a dark headed boy asked, picking up a black lego and stacking it on Henry's red tower.

Henry's shrill scream echoed in the waiting room as his eyes widened on the other child's addition to his stack. "Nooooo!" he screamed, "No b'ack! No b'ack," he yelled, jerking forward to rip the black block off his stack and throw it violently at the other child.

"Henry, no!" JJ hissed, grabbing her son from behind when he would have hurled himself across the table at the little boy. "No throwing!" she rebuked sternly, sending an apologetic look at the other mother hurrying forward to grab her child's hand and tug him backward as Henry's shouts and grunts grew louder. "I'm so sorry," she apologized, straining to keep her arms around her angry son. "Henry, stop!" she insisted above his wails.

"B'ocks," he screamed louder as the other mother smiled sympathetically.

"It's okay," the unknown parent said softly, meeting JJ's frazzled eyes. "Been there." She nodded at Henry. "A lot."

"Thanks," JJ murmured, finally getting her arms around her irate son and lifting him in her arms, her cheeks red with embarrassment as she felt the eyes of the room on her. Hurrying toward the nurse, she winced as she met the woman's gaze. "I'm so sorry."

Nodding with understanding, the nurse closed the door between the waiting room and the hallway. "It happens all the time," she soothed as JJ struggled to hold onto the child who was obviously determined to escape at the earliest moment. "Right this way," she said, leading them down the long corridor as though nothing exceptional was happening...as if the little boy was walking meekly behind her rather than threatening to shatter the glass windows with his screams.

Following the nurse into the examination room, JJ swallowed as she gently deposited an inconsolable, crying Henry on the table. "I don't know why he does this," she groaned to the other woman, pressing her palms against the soft fabric. "Every time is different," she whispered as her son began to calm, his shoulders rocking forward and backward in a jerky rhythm. "But the temper tantrums just keep getting worse and worse. Tell me you guys have found out something," she begged, desperate for some kind of explanation.

"It's going to get better, Ms. Jareau," the nurse consoled, offering Henry her stethoscope to play with. "Most of the parents out there," she assured calmly as the little boy eagerly pulled at the long tubing, "have been in the boat you've been in dozens of times. We see it all the time. It's one of the primary reasons that we're off schedule most of the time. Henry is out of his comfort zone right now and can't verbalize what he's feeling. It will get better with time."

Swallowing hard, JJ nodded, slightly comforted by her statement. It was good to know that her child was at least not the only kid that had a temper tantrum of epic proportions. "It's just hard knowing your child is in pain and there's nothing you can do about it."

" I understand." The nurse nodded supportively. "Dr. McCleary is finishing up with his last patient and will be in to speak with you shortly," she offered gently as she motioned toward the rolling stool next to the exam table. "Just take a couple of deep breaths. He," she said with a slight nod toward Henry, "can sense everything you're feeling even if you never say a word, and he'll react accordingly."

"Thank you," JJ said softly, flashing the nurse a tight smile before she bustled out of the room. Still rattled, she inhaled deeply as she stared at her son. Pulling a tissue from the box on the desk, she wiped his nose. "We're going to be okay, Henry," she said bravely, smiling down at her son who was now content to trail his fingers up and down on the stethoscope. "Do you hear me, baby? No matter what they come in here and say, you and I are going to be okay. Mommy promises you that."

Blinking back tears as her little boy avoided her eyes, shying away from her touch, JJ sighed. This doctor had to have some answers. There had to be some explanation for her son's behavior. Because as it stood, she was desperately afraid she really was the bad parent that Will believed her to be. Perhaps it was her fault Henry was so withdrawn. Everyone always said that a mother's love was the most important ingredient to a happy childhood.

And if her neglect had brought them here...she wasn't sure she'd ever forgive herself.

What kind of mother was she that she couldn't even identify what the problem was...that she hadn't realized how very real her baby's pain was? Wasn't she supposed to have all the answers...be able to fix the boo boos and the ouchies, no matter if they could be seen or not?

Something was isolating him...keeping her from reaching him on a level all mothers should be able to reach their children. That kind of distance was beyond terrifying, and she was at a loss for finding the answers. And she couldn't help wondering what would happen to both of them if she didn't find her way across the divide. One parent had already abandoned her beautiful little boy, his father's selfishness and desire for perfection more important to him that the well-being of his child.

That would never be an option for her. Never.

She had to find a way to reach her child.

And this damned doctor, wherever the hell he was, was going to help her do it.

Jumping slightly as the door behind her opened, JJ turned as the white coated, grey headed doctor strode purposefully into the room.

"Ms. Jareau, sorry for your wait," Dr. McCleary greeted her with a smile as he dropped a file on the long shelf inside the room. "Let's get down to business, shall we?"

* * *

_**A/N 2 - This story, as many of you know, is very near and dear to my heart (and because of the subject matter difficult for me to write and updates are slower) BUT I want to know what you think about it - so, please drop a line. I would love to hear from you.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note - OKAY, MY FRIENDS, WE HAVE LESS THAN ****TWENTY-FOUR HOURS**** LEFT TO VOTE FOR OUR FAVES IN THE Profiler's Choice CM Awards. ALL the details can be found on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Links are in my profile page. If you've got ANY questions, PLEASE PM me. Also, for every person that votes in at least TEN categories, you are automatically registered to win one of two Amazon. com gift cards. So, please, put on those reading hats, grab a cup of coffee and check out the ballot. We have some great stories and fabulous authors up for consideration.**

**Our January Challenge (The Resolutions Challenge) is also available for sign-up at the forum. Please check it out!**

**As always, I invited you to join me and tons of other authors and readers over at Facebook. We're having a blast getting to know each other, encouraging each other and swapping ideas! Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction."**

**As always, we thank everyone for reading our stories. Reviews keep me motivated to keep going, so, if you have a moment drop a comment. Thanks again for following our work.**

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Five**

Sitting in the corner of her son's nursery curled in the rocking glider, Jennifer Jareau blinked back tears. The numbness that had enveloped her for the last several hours was slowly fading, and in its wake was an avalanche of pain and guilt that threatened to topple her very being.

How could this be her child's life? How, in just a few short minutes, had his course been altered so radically, forever changed by a harsh, clinical diagnosis that she still couldn't accept?

She wouldn't.

Not when it meant that normal would never be normal again.

Lifting her eyes, she stared at the ceiling. "How could you be so cruel?" she whispered bitterly to the Universe, her hands drawing into fists where they rested against the arms of the rocking chair. "What could my baby ever have done to deserve this?"

Shoving her fist against her lips, she stifled a sob as she stared at the child sleeping peacefully in his toddler bed, happily (or at least she prayed he could feel happiness) oblivious to the staggering news that they'd received this afternoon.

Maybe the doctor was wrong, her mind screamed desperately, grasping at straws. Physicians weren't God. They didn't always have the answers, did they? They could be proven fallible.

That was it; that doctor had to have made a mistake, JJ thought determinedly, toeing the floor and setting the chair back into motion as she shifted stiffly in her seat.

Her rational side, however, remembered the earnest expression blanketing the white coated man's face...the sincerity and genuine concern shining in his eyes…and her stomach sank.

The doctor believed his own diagnosis.

Biting her thumbnail nervously, JJ stared into space as her mind drifted back to those tension fraught minutes in Dr. McCleary's office.

_**$$0000$$**_

_"NO!" JJ shouted, her head snapping toward the doctor as he sat, calm and composed, perched on his stool across the room. "You're wrong!" she charged vehemently, lowering her voice into a hiss as her son stiffened beside her on the examination table._

_"No, Ms. Jareau. I'm sorry. But I'm not," Dr. McCleary said slowly, his deep voice patient as he met the wild eyed gaze of the mother glaring daggers at him. It was par for the course for him, but, for her, he'd just altered the course of her life indefinitely. She had a right to her anger...to her outrage. "Our tests..."_

_"Your tests are wrong," JJ insisted, her head shaking in denial almost automatically as her mind frantically searched for options that she just knew had to be out there. "Do them again," she snapped, her eyes flashing._

_"Ms. Jareau," Dr. McCleary replied slowly, never wavering underneath her condemning gaze, "we used the questionnaire that you completed in order to gather as much information about your son as we could. When we took your assessment of his behaviors and coupled it with our own intensive screening of Henry, we came to our conclusion. He was seen by a psychologist, a neurologist, a speech therapist and myself, and we all unanimously agreed. It wasn't something we did lightly."_

_"But..."_

_"Each of us noted a lack of language skills that should be present in a child of his age," he said quietly, nodding at Henry and favoring the child with a grandfatherly smile that was not returned. "He couldn't maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds with any of us. He rarely smiles or is responsive to stimuli. He showed compulsive behavior issues. He's easily preoccupied and easily distracted, Ms. Jareau. And these are things that YOU'VE seen, too, aren't they? You noted them in your paperwork," he said, lifting Henry's file slightly for emphasis._

_"Yes, but, there has to be some other explanation," JJ replied tightly, her shoulders stiffening as she reached out to touch her son reflexively, the need to assure herself that he was safe at her side instinctual. Somehow, if she could keep her hands on him, she could guarantee that their world had not just shifted drastically on its axis._

_"There is an explanation, Ms. Jareau. I've given it to you. Henry is autistic. It's just not one you're ready to accept yet," Dr. McCleary informed her gently._

_"Stop saying that," JJ demanded hoarsely, her entire body stiffening at the sound of that word. "He isn't. He's just a little slower than the average child," she said, turning her head to look desperately at her son, only to find her son staring down at the lego block on the exam table. "I want a second opinion!" And a third and fourth, too, if that's how many it took to have someone tell her that her little boy was okay._

_Nodding, Dr McCleary responded gently, "I don't blame you. If it were my son, I'd want one, too. But I honestly don't think that you'll obtain a different outcome. Henry's development IS slower, but he won't improve until you're able to accept and absorb what his condition is. Autism is NOT a death sentence, Ms. Jareau. Children CAN grow into fully functional productive members of our society. Honestly, Ms..."_

_"Call me JJ," JJ said huskily, closing her eyes briefly as the doctor's warm, caring voice continued._

_"JJ, when I say the word autism, what image springs to your mind?" he asked curiously, keeping his eyes on the shocked mother in front of him._

_"Honestly?" JJ asked weakly, blinking back tears as she bit her lower lip, her hand lifting to stroke Henry's hair. Sighing as the child shied away from her touch, she looked at the doctor again. "I think of a kid sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, staring at the wall," she whispered guiltily, her heart clenching as she swallowed hard, trying to control the emotions threatening to overtake her._

_Nodding, the doctor replied, "Don't feel bad about it, JJ. That's the misconception that most of the public has. But what you need to know is that autism is a very wide spectrum," he said, sketching a rainbow on a blank piece of paper and showing it to her. "Those types of cases do exist. But they are far fewer than you imagine and getting fewer still everyday as society is educated about autism spectrum disorder. And as we become more educated, we're better able to treat the condition."_

_Swallowing hard as she looked at the paper, the different layers suddenly appearing different than she had ever imagined, JJ whispered, "You're saying there's hope. Henry has potential?"_

_"Absolutely."_

_"W-what does treatment entail? Medication?"_

_"It can," Dr. McCleary answered slowly, tapping his finger against the edge of Henry's file. "Drugs can be used in an attempt to control behavioral outburst, but I wouldn't recommend that in a child as young as Henry. At least, not right now. But there are behavioral therapies that will help. We'll get you set up with the therapists that he'll need through this office if you choose to keep him here as a patient. But I can assure you that this condition is NOT hopeless."_

_Staring blankly at the doctor, JJ shook her head again, her thoughts once again jumbled in her mind. "Not from where I'm sitting. Where I'm sitting, it feels pretty damned hopeless."_

_"That's to be expected. You need time to absorb this, JJ...to wrap your mind around what this means to you and your family."_

_Drawing in a deep breath, JJ blurted out, "How? How did this happen?"_

_"No one really knows the cause," Dr. McCleary said gravely. "Nor, is there any known cure. We manage the condition. We don't cure it."_

_Choking on her anguish, JJ stared at the man that had ripped apart her world. "I read once that immunizations could play a role in this. Did I do this to him? I chose to give him the shots...what if..."_

_"That theory has been widely dispelled and disproven." Dr. McCleary shook his head, the question as familiar to him as his name. Rolling his stool toward her as he watched her face tighten, he gently grasped her hand. "But, even if it HADN'T, as a doctor AND a parent, I can honestly say that I would rather risk a condition that will NOT destroy my child than a disease that there is a very real possibility that they could die from contracting."_

_Shaking her head furiously, JJ breathed raggedly. "I just can't process this," she denied, pressing her lips together as she tried to fight the hysteria rising within her. _

_"I want you to take a couple of days, JJ. I'm going to make you an appointment for Friday at three, and I want you to write down every question you have over the next two days. When you come in, you'll be calmer and better able to grasp what I'm saying. And if you want me to refer you for a second opinion, all you have to do is give my receptionist a call."_

_Nodding quickly, JJ woodenly gathered her purse and diaper bag and reached for her son. "I'll see you Friday," she whispered before hurrying out the door, the need to escape the office and that man's assessment of her son an almost tangible need._

_**$$0000$$**_

But try as she might, she hadn't been able to outrun her fear. Her uncertainty.

Her tears.

And now, as she sat in her son's darkened bedroom, she wished she hadn't been so anxious to have her precious answers.

Because she'd never been prepared for the one she'd received.

* * *

_**A/N - Again, this one travels pretty close to the heart. Let me know what you thought.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Author's Note: Hello! Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum have signups in session through December 31 for our "Resolutions Challenge" for January. Rules and details are also at the forum! Please join us for the challenge that will kickoff the New Year._**

**_Also, we're going strong over on FaceBook. We've got some amazing authors and fun threads. To join the fun, simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction". There's loads of fun to be had by all. Join us._**

**_A special note to my readers...as Christmas draws nearer, so does my husband's return from the war zone in Afghanistan. This said, posts will be slowing DRAMATICALLY after the holiday. Bear with me. Slower updates are expected to last approximately a month. But, real life and a family reconnection will take precedence. I'm sure you all understand. But, take heart, a happy hubby makes an energetic writer._**

**_And as always, thanks to our readers! Your reviews and alerts make our day and we love hearing from you! We don't own a thing, but we sure wish we did._**

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Six**

Most men were fools. They continually underestimated the lengths to which a woman would go for her child.

Fortunately for him, he'd seen the writing on the wall at a young age in his life. His own mother had proven to him just how far a mother would go for a son…for him. One backhand to his young jaw too many had sent David Rossi's mother storming out the door of his biological father's home. She'd refused to watch a grown man intimidate a four year old little boy.

But it hadn't been an easy decision. Times had been hard then. Money had been tight, nerves had been raw….but she'd done it…by scrimping and saving and working her ass off. And after a couple of years, she met the man he'd spend the rest of his life calling 'Dad', Nico Rossi.

Nico had been a kind, loving bear of a man that talked with his mouth rather than his fists, especially when talking to him. Two more daughters and their family had been complete.

It hadn't been happily ever after, but it had been pretty damn close. Especially when compared to what he could have endured.

It was all ancient history that he rarely thought about these days. Or, at least, he hadn't. Right up until he's seen the same courage and strength shining in Jennifer Jareau's eyes as she'd told Will to get the hell out of her child's life. It was the same bravery he'd seen burning in his own mother's gaze the night she'd cracked his sperm donor in the head with an iron skillet after one whiskey too many.

Shaking his head as he sighed, Dave leaned back against his leather desk chair and stared out the window into the empty bullpen.

Usually, he would have minded his own business unless asked to intervene. JJ was, above all things, a private person that could be relied on to keep her emotions contained. It's what made her such a good agent. She rarely allowed her personal feelings to influence her professional reaction. He admired that about her. With his hair trigger temper, she often provided the balance he needed to approach a suspect or witness effectively.

But this wasn't a professional problem that had landed on her doorstep.

It was very, very personal.

He saw a lot of his own mother in JJ's eyes. Determination, resolve, and so much love for her child that it obliterated any hesitance he might have felt to become involved in her situation. Well, that and the fact that the Cajun man she'd been involved with was a world class _prick_. Maybe not in his biological father's league, but too damned close to quibble about.

She could do better and so could her son. Much, much better, he thought as he toyed with the fountain pen in his hand. No mother should be forced to deal with a sick child and an intolerant asshole simultaneously. Even if said asshole was the kid's father. Will LaMontagne had made it crystal clear to him that he had no interest in diagnosing his son's condition and less than an interest in helping JJ cope with whatever the inevitable conclusion was. Less than perfect just wasn't something he'd been prepared to deal with. He wanted _normal_.

A normal woman and a normal kid.

What the fuck was normal, anyway? Life was filled with challenges. Obstacles to be overcome. Hurdles to be jumped. Whoever had raised LaMontagne had done a piss poor job of driving home the concept that normal simply didn't exist in today's world.

And three ex-wives had called _him_ insensitive, Dave thought with a shake of his head.

One tense conversation and a busted nose later, the son of a bitch still hadn't been any closer to getting the point, Dave mentally sighed with a glance at his still bruised knuckles. But, he had felt better after knocking the smug look off the bastard's face.

And, more importantly, the prick was gone. JJ and Henry could move forward with their lives.

Dave glanced at the clock on his desk. After eight. Late enough that JJ should have the munchkin in bed, but early enough that a friendly phone call wouldn't be seen as an intrusion. Debating with himself for a moment, he hesitated as he reached for the cell phone on his desk.

This really wasn't his business. He knew that. He'd helped get rid of her rodent problem. He'd found her a reputable physician for her kid. Hell, he'd even had the damned doctor's office bill him for whatever the insurance didn't pick up.

He could move on with his life without a backward glance and a clear conscience.

Except, if he was right about what he theorized was wrong with her young son, she needed someone right now. The only question was if he was the right "someone" to walk into this situation. Three failed marriages had proven he sucked at relationships. Two of those exes would swear he had the attention span of a gnat. The last thing he wanted to do was complicate the already tenuous balance she'd managed to find these last few days.

He wasn't exactly knight in shining armor material, was he?

The problem was that he liked her. There were the obvious reasons, of course. Her spirit. Her convictions. Her courage. And, then there was the fact that her body was a walking, talking temptation. Add that to the fact that she had eyes that could convince the Pope to sin…and well, "like" was a mild term for what he felt.

Couple all that with the fact that despite the contribution from LaMontagne's gene pool she'd managed to produce a kid that could make his heart melt with one single wide-eyed look…

He was doomed.

Groaning as he slammed his head back against his chair and ran a hand down his face, he knew he'd somehow inadvertently found his way into a miasma of feelings he had no business having.

She was a co-worker…a colleague.

A friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

And he had to keep it that way, he reminded himself sternly with a glare at his phone.

Then, fate, as it often did, took the decision from his hands.

* * *

_**So…that is the next installment. Still enjoying it? Stay tuned…next up, JJ wants a new doctor and a new diagnosis – but, we don't always get what we want in life, do we?**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note: Our newest challenge is up and running on the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum! Join us for the Back to the Basics Challenge. All you have to do is suggest a pairing and three spring prompts for another author to write. We'll assign those prompts to someone else, and you'll receive an assignment based on another author's suggestion. As always, new authors are welcome to join us. Sign up on the forum today!**_

_**And for those of you who are concerned about plagiarism in the fanfic world, we'd love to hear your thoughts about how to prevent it and how to deal with it on our new Plagiarism thread. Sometimes imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - sometimes, it's just plain theft!**_

_**For those who want to chat about Paget Brewster's upcoming departure from our favorite show, we've opened up a thread just for that purpose. See what others are saying and add your comments!**_

_**Check out our Author of the Week thread, where we are featuring AhmoseInarus this week. Visit the thread, ask your questions, and AhmoseInarus will gladly answer!**_

_**Fortune Cookie Friday has made a comeback! This simple challenge provides a fortune cookie saying just to get your creative juices flowing. There are no deadlines or signups – just checkout the thread, incorporate the fortune cookie saying into your fic, then post a link afterward. We love to see how everyone uses the same saying and comes up with unique and great stories!**_

_**Check us out on Facebook…just search for IlovetvalotFanfiction and send us a friend request today!**_

_**As always, we're thrilled that you take time to read our stories and leave your reviews. And while we deeply wish that we owned these amazing characters, we sadly realize that we don't and that we are merely borrowing them from the powers that be.**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Seven**

"Find me another doctor."

Instantly recognizing JJ's voice on the other end of the call, Dave's fingers tightened on the receiver. "Jen?" he greeted cautiously.

"Please, Dave. I need you to find me another doctor. One that knows what the hell he's talking about!"

Noting the desperation coloring her harsh command, he frowned, his gut tightening in warning. "I take it that Henry's appointment wasn't exactly what you were expecting," he offered softly, grimacing as he heard her sniffle through the line. Damn. He had held out hope that things would turn out differently, for her sake and for Henry's.

"Yeah, you could say that," she answered hollowly, the simple words lined with a horror that couldn't be identified. "He can't be right! He can't. It isn't possible," she rambled.

"Jen," Dave said calmly, hearing the borderline hysteria behind her words, "I need you to calm down," he ordered gently as he reached for the keys on his desk. "Are you at home?"

"Yeah," she replied brokenly, swiping at the tears on her cheeks as she gripped the phone tighter. "I'm home."

"I'm on my way," he informed her, already moving toward his open doorway, his steps strong and sure. "Just take a deep breath and we'll talk when I get there, okay?"

"Okay," she acquiesced readily, striving to control her trembling hands as she focused on the body curled in the crib ahead of her. Disconnecting the phone, she stared at her son. She had to find someone to help her little boy. Someone that could find a way to treat him….to cure him.

Again and again, her mind replayed the doctor's words, his diagnosis staggering her each time it echoed in her mind.

Autism.

How could six little letters inspire such a vivid and all-encompassing fear?

Biting her lower lip as she felt her throat tighten, she shook her head. It simply wasn't acceptable. Dr. McCleary had to be wrong. Her baby was perfect! Maybe he'd mis-read the tests…gotten Henry's file confused with another child. It was possible, wasn't it? Clerical errors happened every day and hospitals were known to make mistakes, weren't they? There had to be a plausible explanation. One that included something other than her son being labeled with a diagnosis that would influence the rest of his life.

Wiping her face, JJ forced herself out of Henry's nursery and into the bathroom across the hallway. Flipping on the light switch, she squinted as the room was bathed in a harsh glow. Staring at her reflection in the mirror above the sink, she swallowed hard at the face staring back at her. It hardly seemed to be her own.

Paler than usual, the dark circles underneath her eyes only added to the haunted look staring back at her. Numbly twisting on the faucet, she splashed her face, the icy cold water pulling a hiss from her pinched mouth. "Pull it together, JJ," she muttered to herself as she patted her face dry with a soft towel as the doorbell chimed.

Shoulders sagging in defeat, JJ tossed the towel down beside the sink and trudged wearily toward the door. Reaching for the brass knob, she inhaled deeply and opened the door, meeting the concerned gaze of David Rossi.

$$0000$$

He watched her pace the length of the cozy living room restlessly, her hands gesturing wildly as her blonde hair fell haphazardly around her shoulders. Based on his experience, she was past the point of being able to focus on anything he said. Reasonable thought had fled as soon as she'd been delivered the verdict on her son's condition.

"Well! Say something!" JJ ordered shrilly, whirling to face Rossi, currently sprawled in one of the two armchairs facing the small fireplace. She needed someone to strike out at…someone to punish. She certainly couldn't inflict her wrath on an innocent, blameless child. And it had been Rossi that had found this obvious crackpot. Ergo, it was his fault. "Start giving that vaunted opinion of yours," she said snidely, blinking back tears.

"Jen, babe, I'm not sure what you want me to say," Dave said, keeping his voice calm and soothing as he met her bright, terrified eyes. "Honey, McCleary is widely known as the best development pediatrician in the state. He's in the top ten in the United States. His reputation is impeccable."

"Except in this case, he's wrong!" JJ retorted, stiffening as she barely resisted the urge to sweep every item off the top of her mantle, needing to do something…anything. "He has to be!"

Wisely remaining silent as she resumed pacing, her movements stiff and jerky, Dave sighed as she continued to rail against Dr. McCleary, the medical community, autism and the unfairness of fate in general. It wasn't as though he blamed her. Any parent worth their salt would be in shock after receiving this kind of news. And God knew, JJ loved her son.

But there was nothing that he could say or do to alter the course her life had suddenly taken. As much as he would have liked to do so, he couldn't throw his money at this problem and make it disappear.

He was powerless.

He could recognize that. He hated it. He despised the fact that he couldn't fix this for mother and child. Few things in life had the power to paralyze him anymore, but seeing the tear tracks coursing down JJ's cheeks….that came close. He wanted to say something positive…something that would give her strength to face the upcoming days and months ahead. But anything he came up with sounded trite…even to him. So, he remained silent, listening to her rant and rail.

Slowly, she calmed…or maybe she simply ran out of steam. He wasn't sure. She'd kept moving since she ushered him inside, shoving a cup of coffee into his hand and pouring one for herself. Thus far, it had remained ignored on the end table beside him. Probably a good thing. Caffeine would only add to her agitation at this point.

She'd finally stilled in front of the wide bay window overlooking the courtyard to her complex, her eyes staring sightlessly out into the inky night, her shoulders rising and falling as she took deep even breaths. She was calming, by inches, her posture relaxing marginally as she lifted a hand to wipe the moisture from her cheeks.

Finally turning, she crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "Okay, Dave," she said tightly. "No bullshit. You think the doctor is right about Henry, don't you?"


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's Note: Hi, ya'll. There are so many exciting things going on over at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum this week! First, we have a brand new April challenge up for those that wish to participate. All the details can be found there, but basically, sign up to write your favorite character. You'll be assigned a random Original Character to pair them with in some capacity. For example, sign up with "David Rossi" and you might be assigned the OC of the second Mrs. David Rossi. Sign-ups are through March 31,2012.**_

_**Also, there's a brand new "Author of the Week" thread and this week our spotlight is on the fabulous Ren Kayashima. And, we've added a new discussion thread, "The OCs of Criminal Mind" for productive conversation regarding original characters.**_

_**Fortune Cookie Friday prompts are up for your consideration. And, we'd still like to hear from you on the idea of a Criminal Minds Fanfiction Reading Day. The idea is to choose one Sunday a month to set aside for reading and reviewing the many fantastic stories in the CM fandom. Swing by and comment on any of our discussion threads. We'd love to have you.**_

_**And a supersized thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or alerting our work. We appreciate each one of you. Feel free to friend us on facebook at either "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" or "Tonnie Fanfiction". We've got several fun things going on there too and a whole host of uber-talented author and reader friends chatting.**_

_**As always, Happy Reading!**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Eight**

Facing down serial killers was a breeze.

Comparatively speaking, that was.

Staring down the crappiest that society had to offer was certainly preferable to facing a threatened Mama Bear with tears swimming in her cerulean eyes.

He'd take Bundy any day of the week over this. He might actually stand a chance with Ted, after all. JJ, on the other hand…now that was a completely different story and she had blood in her eye. And if he wasn't carefully, his blood would be on her hands. And her walls. And her carpet.

Carefully lifting his hands, he said slowly, "JJ, I on your side here. You know that, don't you?"

"Don't try to talk me down, Rossi," JJ snapped, her tone as sharp as the flash in her eyes. "I took your class on negotiation tactics in college. You might have written the book, but I read every word and got an A. Just answer the damn question," she ordered, blowing a strand of hair out of her face as she narrowed her eyes on him. Who the hell did he think he was fooling with that soothing voice of his? She knew rough and gruff was his default position. Anything else was patronizing.

And she'd be damned if she became the little woman that got patted on the head with a condescending smile.

"I think that Dr. McCleary has a lot of training and experience behind his name. I wouldn't have sent you or your son to him if I didn't think he'd be able to give you an accurate diagnosis. That said, if you wanna see another expert, I'll find you one."

"You still didn't answer my question," JJ said softly, her chest tightening as she watched Dave's shuttered eyes darken even more. "Do you think he's right about Henry?"

"Based on what I've seen, Henry has a lot of the hallmarks, JJ," Dave replied carefully. "And the condition is treatable."

"But not curable," JJ retorted, shaking her head rapidly as she tried to control the massive tide of emotions that were roiling inside.

"No. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But autism isn't a death sentence. Kids can overcome the obstacles the disease puts in their way. With therapy and…"

"Would you stop!" JJ exploded suddenly, one hot tear falling against her cheek. "The doctor has to be wrong! Henry has enough of the deck stacked against him without having to be tagged with this! His father walked out on him. His mother is a basket case that's barely hanging onto her sanity! And now this?" she shrieked.

Inhaling deeply as her words bounced off of the walls around them, Dave simply stared at her.

"This can't be happening," she whispered, weakly collapsing into an armchair, her earlier outburst suddenly dissipating with the same speed it had first arrived. "It's not fair!" she pleaded desperately, not knowing to whom she was speaking…to Dave or to the fates or to the God that apparently was no longer hearing her prayers.

"Henry has a mother that will move heaven and earth for him. That's all any child can ask for," Dave began patiently, knowing without words that she needed to be reassured…now more than ever. "You're not a basket case either, babe. I've been married to one of those. The second one. Until you try to run somebody over with a lawn mower, you aren't even in the running."

Laughing in spite of herself, JJ blinked. "Really? A lawn mower?"

"That was one long assed hot summer," Dave shuddered theatrically, giving her a small smile as he watched her closely.

"Well, I haven't gone down for attempted homicide yet, that's true." Pausing, she took in a deep breath as she tried to give voice to the emotions that had managed to overwhelm her completely. "But I feel like I'm losing it, Dave. I have no control here. None. And I don't know how to keep Henry from getting hurt. Life is cruel for a perfectly normal child. But a child with difficulties?" Her voice broke for a bare second as she glanced down the hallway to where her son was soundly sleeping. "It could be torture for him!"

Canting his head, Dave acknowledged the truth in that statement, but refused to allow her to dwell on what-ifs and might-bes. "It might be if he wasn't surrounded by people that love him. But JJ, nobody could love that kid more than you! You're a good mother. You can handle this."

"I don't want this for my son," JJ choked, emotion clogging her throat as she stared at Henry's baby picture on the wall. He looked healthy. Full cheeks. Fat belly. He even had a littles mile on his face. How could he have gone from that…to this?

"No parent would," Dave agreed. "But this is what you've got. Now, we figure out how to deal with it. But before you can do that, you've got to stop beating up on yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. It isn't your fault."

"Then whose fault is it?" JJ managed, wiping her wet cheeks. "Who do I blame? I'm the only one here, Rossi. It's on me. Look around," she said, gesturing around the room, "There's nobody else here to take responsibility."

"Because you protected your son and threw out a guy that would never have been able to tough this out, Jen. Right now, the most important person Henry needs is you. He needs you strong. At the moment, you're exhausted. You've been lobbed one bomb too many in a short amount of time. You're allowed to short circuit. When the chips are down, however, you'll do what is in Henry's best interest. Because you're his mom."

Swallowing hard at the utter faith he had in her, JJ leaned her head against the cushions. "Would you come with us…to the next appointment? I…I want to have all the facts and right now, I know I'm emotional. Maybe you'll hear something that I don't."

"Jen, I'll do whatever you want me to do. Including find you another physician to consult for a second opinion if that's what you want," Dave agreed softly, watching her tense face gravely. "There are plenty of specialists in DC. If you truly don't feel comfortable with McCleary, I'll find you someone else. I just want to make sure it's the doctor and not the diagnosis that you're averse to before we change lanes."

Blinking, JJ thought about his offer. "You're right," she conceded in a hushed voice. "Dr. McCleary was as supportive as he could be considering the news he was giving me. It's the diagnosis…and it's very likely the same one the next physician will give me. I just…"

"You want different news, babe. Any mother would. But you know as well as I do, sometimes what we want and what we get are two very different things," he pointed out gently. "All we can do is cope with what is in the best way we can."

"Sage Rossi wisdom, huh," JJ grunted, reaching for a tissue.

"Something like that," Dave said with a half-smile. Waiting until she appeared to be breathing normally again, he asked gently, "When's the appointment?"

"Friday," JJ sniffled, blowing her nose and clearing her throat before she looked at him again. "It's gonna be a long two days."

"It gives you time to think about what questions you have," Dave countered. "You can do a little research...see what treatments are available…formulate a plan. I know how much you love a good plan," he added with a wink.

"Yeah, my plans keep blowing up in my face," JJ said grimly. "I'm not too sure about my planning abilities anymore." Biting her lip, JJ stared at Dave. "Can I ask you a personal question?" she asked hesitantly, uncertain if she was overstepping their friendly boundaries. He was a private man by nature…something they had in common, but she had to know.

"Shoot," Dave invited easily.

"Dr McCleary. You know him, don't you?"

"I do," Dave acknowledged evenly, having expected this question.

"How, Dave?"


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's Note: Hi, ya'll. There are so many exciting things going on over at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum this week! First, we have a brand new April challenge up for those that wish to participate. All the details can be found there, but basically, sign up to write your favorite character. You'll be assigned a random Original Character to pair them with in some capacity. For example, sign up with "David Rossi" and you might be assigned the OC of the second Mrs. David Rossi. Sign-ups are through March 31, 2012.**_

_**Also, there's a brand new "Author of the Week" thread and this week our spotlight is on the fabulous Nix1978. Swing by and pop off a question. And, we've added a new discussion thread, "The OCs of Criminal Mind" for productive conversation regarding original characters.**_

_**Fortune Cookie Friday prompts are up for your consideration. And, we'd still like to hear from you on the idea of a Criminal Minds Fanfiction Reading Day. The idea is to choose one Sunday a month to set aside for reading and reviewing the many fantastic stories in the CM fandom. Swing by and comment on any of our discussion threads. We'd love to have you.**_

_**Also, Felena Fanfiction is hosting a weekly "WILD WORD WAR" every Wednesday on Facebook. Please contact her for further details!**_

_**And a supersized thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and/or alerting our work. We appreciate each one of you. Feel free to friend us on facebook at either "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" or "Tonnie Fanfiction". We've got several fun things going on there too and a whole host of uber-talented author and reader friends chatting. Several authors have their own fun on-going projects designed just for Facebook.**_

_**As always, Happy Reading!**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Nine**

Staring into his half empty coffee cup, Dave lifted his eyes to JJ's expectant face. "You know," he said ruefully, "this is a conversation I wouldn't mind having over something stronger than coffee, if you know what I mean? Any chance there might be something a little stouter hiding in that kitchen of yours?" he asked hopefully, raising the mug.

She couldn't deny that a little something to soothe her ragged nerves wouldn't be the worst idea she'd ever heard. After all, the baby was asleep and she was home for the night. A glass of wine wouldn't hurt anything. "I think you may be onto something there," JJ agreed, ignoring the unmistakable signs of fatigue as she stood. "Would you rather have wine or scotch?" she asked, walking toward the kitchen.

Decision, decisions, Dave thought grimly. Wine would be the more mellow choice, but this conversation definitely felt like a scotch discussion…the more aged the better. "Do you still have that Lagavulin I stashed here at Christmas?" he asked, following her toward into the small kitchen.

Smiling faintly, JJ nodded as she opened a solid pine cabinet and pulled down one stemmed wineglass and one of the heavy etched tumblers she kept. "Don't worry. I hid your good scotch from Will," she replied, pulling out a half empty bottle from behind the Corn Flakes.

Taking the bottle out of her hands when he noticed the fine tremble still clinging to it, he unscrewed the cap as she dropped ice cubes into his glass, the tinkling sound the only thing marring the silence. Pouring a healthy measure of the amber fluid inside as she poured her own glass of wine, he murmured, "Speaking of Will…you gonna tell him what the doctor said?"

"You think I should?" JJ balked, dropping the red wine back to the counter with a clatter.

Slowly shaking his head as he lifted the scotch to his lips, Dave replied calmly, "I'm not advocating either way. It's just a question. You won't get any judgment from me either way." And she wouldn't…even if his gut did rebel at the thought of the Cajun asshole reappearing in her life. And Dave wouldn't mind knocking the hell out of him again if the need should arise.

Pulling her glass off the counter, she was aware of him trailing her back into the living room. Curling up in one of the recliners, she pulled her bare feet up underneath her. "No," she said firmly. "Before he left, Will made it clear that Henry and I weren't concerns of his any longer. He didn't want to be involved. I don't see what difference a medical diagnosis could make in that. He still wouldn't want the pressure and responsibility of having a child…especially a kid faced with challenges. He resented Henry, Dave. I can't imagine that Will would bring _anything_ productive to the table."

Good girl, Dave silently cheered, relieved to know that no matter how daunting McCleary's assessment might be, JJ wouldn't be influenced into dragging that waste of flesh back into her life. Although, he wouldn't have blamed her if she'd been willing to consider it. He couldn't imagine the fear she must be facing right now. She was a strong woman…but even the strongest people needed support.

"For what it's worth, I agree with you," he said supportively. "You don't want to create more problems for yourself and Henry right now. Will made it clear that backing you up wasn't a particular strong suit of his."

"That's a diplomatic way of putting it," JJ snorted, taking another healthy sip from her glass. "You can say it. He was a prize bastard that I won in a game of "Pick the Worst Man With Which to Have a Child". Now, unfortunately, Henry has to pay for my mistakes."

"Henry is surrounded by people that love him and will continue to love him, no matter what," Dave replied decisively, arching one brow. "I wouldn't waste any time mourning that shitty excuse for a father. He didn't deserve the right."

Smiling faintly, JJ privately agreed. Sipping her wine, considerably slower this time, she reached for the soft throw draped over the arm of the chair. "You were going to explain to me how you know Dr. McCleary. Having a development pediatrician on speed dial is impressive even for you," she said, raising her eyebrows at him. Watching as his eyes darkened, JJ pressed, "I'm assuming this is personal, isn't it?"

"You could say that," Dave agreed, taking another swallow of the perfectly aged scotch. "I met him about fifteen years ago. He's my nephew's doctor…or he was. Andrew will be starting Princeton in the fall. I'm guessing he's a little old now for a pediatrician."

"Your nephew?"

"My youngest sister's kid. He was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was five," Dave explained calmly, well aware of the proverbial bomb he had just allowed to explode. "Autism research was just getting started hot and heavy back then. Doc McCleary provided Andrew's care his entire childhood and adolescence. If there's one thing I can tell you I know for certain, it's that the doctor is on the level. I'd never have allowed him near Andrew …_or _Henry…if I wasn't convinced."

Staring at him in shocked silence for a moment, JJ finally swallowed. "Dave, I had no idea," she said quietly.

"Of course you didn't." Dave shrugged as he took another sip from the tumbler. "I don't normally talk much about my personal life. It isn't that I'm ashamed…it's just never come up before."

"Until now," JJ said softly, glancing toward the hallway, knowing that her son was just a few feet away.

"Yeah." Dave nodded. "Look, I'm sorry about Henry's diagnosis, JJ. It was hard on my sister back then and she at least had a husband that didn't have his head buried in his ass. I know it's hard. But it's workable. With the right tools and help, you're both gonna be fine."

"You recognized it, didn't you?" JJ asked, faltering a little. "You saw the signs in Henry. That's why this was the doctor you sent us to, isn't it?"

"I sent you to the best," Dave corrected firmly, shrugging. "I knew McCleary would do an extensive, intensive intake exam. Did I recognize some of the markers? Yes. But those markers can go along with a lot of different things. I knew McCleary would find out exactly what Henry was facing."

Licking her lips as she tried to control her pounding heart, JJ asked uncomfortably, "Did it get easier…for your sister and her family? Especially Andrew? Did…I mean, do people treat him like he's normal?"

* * *

_**Please take a moment and leave a comment if you are inclined. We love hearing from each of you!**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note: Oh, so many exciting tidbits to share with all of you today! First, who doesn't like a chance to win free stuff? I know I do! And that's what Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum's new "Pay It Forward Review Incentive Program" is ALL about! Reviewers get the chance to win an Amazon Gift Card for themselves AND an author for a story that they review! Cool, huh? Details can be found at the forum thread! Please, check it out! April will have TWO drawings…that's a total of four giftcards up for grabs, folks! This month the thread is focusing on ANY story in which HOTCH is a primary character! It's DEFINITELY worth a look. VERY FEW HAVE PARTICIPATED THUS FAR, BUT WE HOPE YOU WILL ALL TAKE A LOOK AT SOME POINT!**_

_**We also have several new threads designed to help readers and authors, alike. Check out the "Morsels for the Muse" thread for some creative inspiration AND our thread called "Facebook Happenings!" to find out what current fun activities are ongoing in that arena! ALSO, we have a wonderful spotlight on Author of the Week, ficdirectory. Pop by and ask a question. She's super excited to hear from you!**_

_**As always, we appreciate everyone that continues to read, review and favorite our stories. It's a pleasure to write for you. Thanks for being so awesome to us!**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Ten**

"What's normal, Babe?" Dave snorted, then tempered his tone as he watched her shoulders stiffen. "I mean, I'm not trying to be a smartass, but normal is in the eye of the beholder. Normal is what _you_ make it out to be."

"You know what I mean," JJ muttered, staring down at her wineglass.

"Andrew and the rest of the family had their fair share of challenges. But, honestly, what family doesn't?" Dave shrugged as he took another sip from his tumbler. "I can't tell you that this isn't life altering, JJ. We both know it is. But it will become as big a deal as you allow it to be."

She knew where he was coming from. If she overreacted, Henry was going to sense it. Hell, he already had. Half the battle was going to be conquering her own fears, insurmountable as they seemed to be at that moment. "I don't want him to suffer, Dave."

"He's not suffering, JJ. But you're going to have to learn how to communicate with your little man in there," he said gently, nodding down the hallway to the nursery where he knew the baby was sleeping. "Doc McCleary can help you do that. I've seen him do it before."

"He's never going to be just an average little boy," JJ whispered sadly, her throat catching as she felt her hopes and dreams for the future starting to slip from her fragile grip.

"Average is overrated," Dave replied sternly, deliberately deepening his tone as he watched her eyes glaze slightly. Hell, he'd seen the same look on his sister's face more than once, and he'd heard the same doubt hiding in her voice. Damn it all to hell. Leaning forward, he said firmly, "He's _your_ little boy. You love him and protect him the best you can. That's all any parent can do."

Nodding as she forced herself to recognize his words, JJ swallowed. Hard. It was time to pull herself up by the bootstraps and focus on what _could_ be done for her child. Wallowing in self-pity had never accomplished anything. "You're right," she sighed, lifting her chin.

Dave grinned as he watched the life return to her bright blue eyes. "How much did that hurt to say?"

Rolling her eyes, JJ downed the last of her wine. "Don't be an asshole," she rebuked him with mock severity. "I'm pretty sure I could get away with a justifiable homicide tonight. Overwrought mothers are all the rage right now."

Dropping his empty glass to the table, Dave winked. "Good. You're feeling better. Threatening harm to those that irritate you…."

"Thanks for coming over, Dave," JJ said gratefully, smiling weakly at him as he wriggled his eyeborws. "I was hanging by a thread," she admitted, half ashamed to say the words out loud, feeling that she was failing her child just by even acknowledging that thought.

"Look, it's gonna be an adjustment any way you look at it, Jen. I can't change that for you. But, I'll be here when you need me."

"Do you think…" she faltered, unsure if she was overstepping the bounds of her friendship with what she wanted to request. Frowning, she shook her head. "Never mind."

"Ask your question, JJ. The worst I can do is not answer it or say no," Dave invited easily, crossing his ankles.

"I was just wondering if I could meet Andrew," JJ asked nervously, shooting Dave a tight smile. "But then I realized that might be seen as an invasion of your privacy and…"

"I don't mind, Jen," Dave replied calmly, shaking his head as he met her eyes. "But, Andrew isn't going to provide you a glimpse into Henry's future. Every kid is different. I think what would be more helpful would be talking to my sister. She's been where you are."

"I'm not sure if I'd be comfortable talking about it with a complete stranger, Dave." JJ grimaced, staring down at her hands, her focus suddenly intent on the ragged cuticle on her thumb.. "I'm not much of a people person lately.

"Neither was she after Andrew was diagnosed," Dave recalled, remembering how his sister had shut down after she'd learned what Andrew was facing. She'd come around eventually, but it had taken time. And patience. Lots of patience. "The offer stands, Jen. Why don't we just see the doctor on Friday and go from there?" he suggested, rising as he slipped his coat back over his shoulders. "There will be plenty of time for everything else later."

Inhaling deeply as she let herself relax as much as was possible at that moment, JJ smiled. "Baby steps."

"Exactly," Dave agreed as he nodded. "Until then, you need some rest," he ordered, eyeing the dark circles underneath her eyes and wondering exactly how many nights it had been since she had truly allowed herself to sleep. Knowing her like he did, he doubted that it had been any time in the recent months. Sighing, he pushed up out of his chair as he said firmly, "And do more than just lie down, Jen. Actually turn your mind off for once, okay?"

"I'll try," JJ murmured, following him to the door. "Sleep's been kinda hard lately. And I know Garcia is going to be waiting by my desk tomorrow demanding answers," she groaned, rubbing a hand over her tense forehead. "I've dodged her phone calls all night. This isn't exactly something I wanna spring on her over the phone. She's a fixer by nature. Telling her tonight would have meant watching her try to launch a counter attack against autism across the entire world. I just don't think I could have handled that particular brand of enthusiasm this evening," she admitted ruefully.

"She's definitely one of a kind," Dave agreed, feeling like he was making the understatement of the century. "And if that's a real polite way of saying that she'd have overwhelmed an already overwhelmed woman, I concur." He winked, his hand on the doorknob. "She'll forgive you." Or he'd kill her, he thought privately.

"She will," JJ sighed, nodding once as if the effort to do more would require more energy than she currently possessed. She grimaced as she added, "I guess I just needed to hide out for a night. Cowardly."

"Understandable," Dave corrected, kissing JJ's cool cheek, letting his lips linger for a moment when she didn't pull away. "Get some rest, cara. Things won't seem so hopeless in the morning," he recommended, opening the door. "Lock the door behind me," he ordered.

"Thanks, Dave," JJ murmured appreciatively, closing the door behind him and flipping the bolt as he'd said. Leaning heavily against the door, she gave silent thanks for the few reliable men that were left in her life. She had a feeling that Henry and she were going to need every single one of them in the upcoming weeks and months.

Walking through her house on silent feet, she flipped off the lights as she went. There was so much to do, but right now, all she wanted was one good night of rest. Then, perhaps, she could face what was coming.

Walking into her son's room one last time, she smiled as she watched him curled on his side in his crib, thumb planted between his lips, his lashes dark against his cheek. So peaceful. So blessedly unaware of the turmoil surrounding them.

Smoothing her hand against his soft hair, she whispered, "No matter what, we're gonna get through this. Mommy loves you."

Smiling as her son huffed out a breathy little sigh of contentment and turned his cheek against her hand, JJ knew they'd be okay. Somehow, some way, they'd weather the upcoming storm together.


	11. Chapter 11

_Author's Note: Okay, first, thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting our stories. We truly appreciate your comments._

_Second, we want to offer you a quick rundown of activities and threads that are ongoing at the forum:_

_First, we have opened our next challenge to participants. "The Future Fic Challenge" thread is open on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. Rules and explanation of the challenge are there as well. In short, choose one character and get assigned a random secondary character to tell a story set in the year 2022. It looks like a lot of fun._

_We've also introduced a "Help Wanted" thread to the forum for authors that are looking for assistance with various writing complications that come up. Perhaps you want someone to bounce ideas with, or maybe you need a beta….this is the place to post an ad for what you are looking for. We've also reopened the "Chat Chat Among the Authors" thread to discuss spoilers or ask questions. The "Getting to Know YOU…Tell us about yourself" thread is open. Swing by there to introduce yourself whether you are a reader or an author. We'd love to meet you._

_And lastly don't forget our "Pay It forward Review Incentive Program". From now until the end of April, anyone that reviews a Hotch related story is eligible to win an gift card. Details found on thread at forum._

_This week's author of the week is the talented klcm. Please swing by that thread to ask questions about their writing and/or stories. In addition, there are several other threads open for comment. We hope to see each of you there._

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Eleven**

Penelope Garcia was rarely silent and she was never motionless. Today, however, sitting at her desk, she was both, rendered so by her best friend.

"Say something, Garcie," JJ whispered, forcing herself to unclench her fingers and relax her shoulders. "You going quiet is usually my cue to call the cops," she said, her attempt at a joke weak at best.

"I…just give me a second, Peaches," Garcia murmured, stunned by JJ's news. Of everything she had expected to hear, this news trumped every possible scenario.

"Yeah, it's gonna take more than that to wrap your mind around it. Trust me," JJ commiserated, her nervous fingers shredding the tissue she clutched in one hand. "I still can't process it," she whispered, her chest tightening as she replayed Henry's doctor's diagnosis in her mind for the millionth time of the morning. Truthfully, she'd thought of little else, spending the previous night turning over and over fitfully in her bed. She'd been tempted to call Rossi in the wee hours of the morning for reassurance, but somehow resisting the urge.

This wasn't _his_ problem . Or Garcia's, for that matter. But her co-workers were closer to her than her own family. And right now, she needed each of them. Not telling Penelope this morning hadn't been an option.

"Okay," Penelope finally said, nodding once as she straightened her shoulders and leaned forward in her chair. "We can handle this."

"That's what Rossi said, too," JJ managed with a watery laugh. Pushing her hair off her face, she made herself smile. "You two kinda sound like a broken record."

Surprised, Penelope flashed her friend a bemused look. "You already told Rossi?" she asked, her spidey senses tingling slightly as JJ's cheeks blushed faintly.

"Dave helped me find a doctor for Henry to see. He called in a few favors and got Henry a slot with the leading developmental pediatrician in the city," JJ explained quickly, waving her hand as she attempted to play down the entire situation. "I knew the man knew practically everybody who was _anybody_, so I enlisted his assistance."

Penelope Garcia had learned that there was a time and a place for everything. Now, however was neither the time _or_ place to pepper JJ with questions about a certain reformed playboy in their midst. They both had more important things to focus on at the moment. "That makes sense," she instead said as she nodded supportively. "Rossi is a handy guy to have on speed dial."

Smiling gratefully, JJ knew Pen was working against her instinct to dig for details, and she loved her even more for the effort. "No more than you are," JJ said loyally. Biting her lip as a wave of doubt assailed her, she grabbed Garcia's hand. "Tell me I can do this, Garcie," she demanded hoarsely, the urge to cry once again assailing her. "Tell me that I'm not going to screw up my kid any more than I already have," she begged.

Tilting her head, Garcia rolled her eyes. "Oh, puh-lease. JJ, you are one of the best mothers that I've ever laid eyes on. Of course you can do this."

Cursing the helpless tears that sprang to her eyes, JJ swallowed hard. "I was barely prepared to handle parenthood, Garcie."

"But you did…and you didn't just handle it, Peaches, you rocked it," Garcia replied strongly as she squeezed her friend's hand, suddenly realizing exactly how thin JJ's wrist was.

"But…now…"

"Now, you're going to continue rocking it. Henry is still the same kid as he was a week ago, my little peepette. He's still the same little boy that you've loved since the moment that doctor put him into your arms. Nothing changed."

"Nothing and _every_thing, Pen. I don't know how to do this. What if I don't have the patience I need? What if I make a mistake that I can't fix?"

"You didn't know how to be a mom either until you had a baby. This is the same thing. You'll do it, and you will find a way to kick ass at it. Nobody is gonna be the perfect parent, Jayje. You take the problems as they come and you deal with them."

"You have an awful lot of faith in somebody that doesn't know the first thing about autism," JJ grumbled under her breath, flexing her shoulders as she tried to work out the kinks that had settled in overnight.

"You'll learn. We'll _all_ learn. And what we can't learn, we'll figure out as we go," Penelope assured the other woman calmly. "You're up for this challenge, Buttercup. And that's all it is…a challenge. An obstacle. Henry and you will jump the hurdle. Maybe you'll stumble and fall a few times….I can't say that you won't. But you'll get back up and you'll keep going because you don't quit. You've never laid down for anything or one in your life."

"I can't mess this up, Garcia. I'll never forgive myself if I don't do everything I can to give my son the life he deserves," JJ whispered, her skin growing cold at the thought of failing Henry. "I'm the only parent he's got. I have to get this right."

"JJ, you love your baby. That's the best medicine you can give him," Garcia reasoned firmly.

"Did I mention that I lost my fourth babysitter this morning? Six months, Garcie. In six months, I've hired four so-called nannies," JJ sniffled, running a hand underneath her nose. "Henry had a meltdown because she put milk in his Fruit Loops. He threw the bowl at her. She quit on the spot. That bitch called my baby a demon," JJ choked, her breath catching sharply in her chest as she remembered the showdown she'd had with that evil woman. "Mrs. Pularski across the hall from me agreed to take him today. Since Henry has always behaved for her, I gave it a shot. But it's only temporary. She leaves for Florida next Friday for the winter. Pen, what am I gonna do?" she asked desperately. "I can't afford specialized care. I can't leave Henry with someone unqualified. I can't quit. I'm screwed! _We're _screwed."

"Hey!" Garcia exclaimed as JJ's chest rose and fell rapidly. Grabbing both her hands in hers, she squeezed. "The first thing you're going to do is breathe."

Concentrating on inhaling and exhaling for the next several minutes, JJ held on tightly to Penelope's hands, staring down at the indigo tipped nails wrapped around her fingers. Finally catching her wind, she lifted her head slowly and met her best friend's compassionate eyes. "Sorry," she mumbled self-consciously. "That's never happened to me before," she rasped.

Pressing a can of Diet Coke into JJ's hand, Penelope waved off the apology. "It's called a panic attack, sweetums. I have 'em myself from time to time. They pass. Now, I want you to drink that," she said, nodding toward the sweating can JJ held. Twirling toward her computer, she pulled up a search tab.

"What're you doing?" JJ asked curiously, popping the tab on the soda.

"I, my dotty doll, am going on a hunt….to find you the perfect solution to your pesky problem."

Lifting her eyebrows, JJ watched Penelope Garcia do what she did best….

Find solutions.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone reading. We love hearing from each of you!**

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Twelve**

Aaron Hotchner wasn't often stunned speechless. In this job, they all saw entirely too much evil to be easily affected. David Rossi's grim voice, however, informing him of the current situation of one of his favorite colleagues….now, that had thrown him off his game, however. Especially since the information affected not only his employee, but one of the few BAU kids.

"Aaron?" Dave said gruffly as he stared at the abnormally quiet man. "Say something."

Slowly forcing himself to focus on the older man seated across from him, Aaron asked quietly, "Are they sure?"

"I sent them to the best, Hotch," Dave muttered, shoving out of his chair to pace the office restlessly.

Watching his friend, Aaron knew that if Dave had found her the best, then there wasn't much left to say about it. The older man didn't waste valuable time with amateurs. When he wanted answers, he found top tier experts. If he'd bothered doing that, the diagnosis was sound. Breathing deeply, Hotch leveled the profiler with an unfathomable look. "How is she?"

Turning his head toward the Unit Chief, Dave rolled his eyes. "How do you _think_ she is, Aaron?" he asked sarcastically. "She called _me_ for crying out loud. I'd say that makes her about as desperate as any woman can be, wouldn't you?"

Canting his head to the side, Aaron shrugged. "You're friends. And you're connected. If it was Jack, I'd have called you, too."

Sighing, Dave shoved his hands in his pocket as he stared out the window. "I know," he said softly. "I should have let her tell you, but I wanted you to be prepared."

"Good call," Hotch muttered as he nodded. "I'm assuming there are a few things you want from me?"

"You assumed correctly," Dave agreed, turning back toward Aaron's desk. Licking his lips, he met Aaron's unreadable eyes. "She's not going to tell you. Hell, she wouldn't even tell me, but I can tell that she's worried about the financial implications of all this. I know you can't give her a raise, but I want you to tell her that any time off she needs to take….it'll be covered. Make up some kind of family leave lie if you have to," he added as he shrugged. "I'll cover it. I also want you to tell her that she needs to bring all her insurance claims to you, personally. We both know the Bureau health insurance plan isn't going to cover the cost of all the things Henry will need…therapy…specialized care, what have you." Dave grimaced as he thought of the various challenges facing his friend. "You tell her you'll run interference for it. I'll cover that, too."

Aaron Hotchner really wasn't surprised by Rossi's requests, but he did feel duty bound to say, "You sure? That's awfully….generous." His lips twitched when Dave narrowed his gaze and glared at him.

"Let's take a moment and review Jennifer Jareau's year, shall we?" Dave barked, crossing his arms over his chest. "First, she hooks up with a creep and gives him a kid. Then, said creep shows his spineless nature and bails, BUT not before belittling her and her son and making them generally miserable. THEN, as if fate hadn't been cruel enough, the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, decides to add this challenge to her already overfilled plate. So, yeah, I'm being generous. Sue me."

Raising an eyebrow, Hotch held Dave's eyes and waited.

Rolling his eyes as he faced the man obviously intent on stepping on his last nerve, Dave growled, "Are you gonna cooperate with me or am I gonna have to enlist Garcia's assistance and think of something else?"

"What do you think?" Hotch asked in a low voice.

"I think you want to make things as easy on her as I do," Dave retorted on a heavy sigh. "Shit," he muttered, wincing as he shook his head. "I'm sorry I bit your head off."

Nodding, Hotch tapped his pen against the blotter. "What's next for them?" he asked with concern.

"She wants me to go back with her to the doc," Dave replied, rubbing his hand over his jaw. "McCleary wanted to see them again once JJ had time to wrap her head around Henry's diagnosis. I guess she wants me there for moral support."

"You gonna go?" Hotch asked curiously.

Nodding, Dave sank back into the chair in front of Aaron's desk. "Yeah, I told her I would. What the hell else could I do?"

"Dave, are you sure you can go down this road?" Aaron asked, concerned for his friend as much as he was for JJ and Henry.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Dave snapped, his jaw clenching tightly as he narrowed his gaze.

"You know exactly what I mean," Aaron replied softly, dropping his pen against the desk. "I've known you over twenty years. I've learned the early warning system for David Rossi's potential firebombs. This could blow up in your face, man."

Pressing his fist against his thigh, Dave asked tightly, "You want me to abandon her?"

"Of course not," Aaron scoffed, arching one brow. "But, don't pretend that you don't have feelings for JJ, Dave."

"Oh, for Christ sake," Dave spat, rolling his eyes as he barely resisted the urge to growl. "You think I'm gonna use her sick kid as a chance to get in her pants? Is that what you think of me, Aaron?"

"Now look who sounds like an idiot," Aaron sneered, the desire to slam Rossi's head into a wall for being a jackass rising high and strong within him. "You know I don't!"

"Then what the fuck are you implying?" Dave retorted as the muscle in his jaw began to jump warningly.

"I'm not implying anything," Aaron denied. "I'm outright saying that you have feelings for her, feelings that you've done a really good job of tamping down on and controlling. I don't want to see her or _you_ get hurt."

"You're tilting at windmills," Dave muttered, looking away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"And you are being deliberately obtuse," Hotch accused, shaking his head as he leaned back in his chair. "The bottom line is that I'll do everything you've asked me to do, up to and including acting surprised when she decides to tell me. But, you, my friend, aren't fooling me. You care, Dave, and in a hell of a lot more than the one friend helping another friend way. I just hope you have enough sense left to keep it together until you're sure JJ's not acting on emotion. I'd hate to see this blow up in your face."

"Henry is the priority here, Aaron. The kid deserves a shot at normal. His father sure as hell didn't care if he got one. Luckily, his mother does."

"So do you," Aaron noted quietly.

"So what?" Dave asked briskly, shrugging negligently. "So do you," he deflected. "So does Garcia and every other member of this team."

"The team isn't offering to pay for everything," Hotch pointed out helpfully.

"The team doesn't have the capability; I do," Dave responded evenly, choosing to overlook Aaron's logic in favor of his own. "And, I will," he surmised, rising and heading for the door, the need for some fresh air overwhelming him.

Watching as the elder man stormed out, Aaron stared after him. "I hope you know what you're doing, Dave," he murmured before turning his attention back to the file on his desk.


	13. Chapter 13

**FORUM NEWS: Several fun things going on NOW!**

**1. The thread "Where, oh where, have the M Stories Gone? – This is a handy guide for readers to find where their favorite authors are posting their mature content stories these days. Authors, feel free to pop by and reply to the thread.**

**2. The thread "The Dog Days of Summer" mini-challenge. Come by and write a story for this fun summer challenge.**

**3. Come by and ask ME a question on this week's featured author of the week. Ilovetvalot is the featured author this week and I would love to talk to you. No question is off the table!**

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Jennifer Jareau knew something was wrong the second she opened her front door, her son's piercing shrieks heralding impending doom. After a day spent explaining Henry's condition to her colleagues, she realized she should have spent more time briefing today's caretaker on the new changes in Henry's life. Shoulders sagging briefly as she turned and closed the door, she could hear the soothing voice of her neighbor, Mrs. Pularski, urging Henry to calm down, all to no avail. His screams only increased in volume with each kind word the woman was saying.

Quickly shrugging off her purse and dropping her briefcase on the couch, she hurried toward the kitchen and found chaos reigned. Her son had scooted into the narrow space between the stove and the refrigerator, his face buried against his knees as he screamed. Mrs. Pularski stood in front of him, using every trick she knew to coax him from his hiding spot.

Touching the other woman's arm as she approached, JJ smiled weakly as the older woman met her gaze frantically.

"I don't know what happened, Jennifer! One moment, he seemed fine and the next…." She gestured furtively at a huddled Henry. "He's been so quiet most of the day," she explained in a rush. "But, he took one look at his supper plate and started screaming."

Glancing over her shoulder at the Mickey Mouse plate on the table, JJ cringed. The peas touched the corn, mingling innocently on the platter. Something so small…but, something that had major consequences in the life of her little boy. "It's okay, Mrs. P. I know the problem. You can go home. I'll handle Henry."

"Are you sure, dear?" the older woman asked, glancing worriedly at Henry. "I could stay and…."

"It was nothing you did, Mrs. P," JJ said as she shook her head. Well, she hadn't done it on purpose, at any rate. "Henry just ….he….needs more structure than most children. If one tiny thing is out of whack in his world, this happens," she shrugged.

Henry's wails had started to ebb and now he sat, rocking back and forth on the floor, an occasional shudder wracking his small body.

"But what caused _this?" _Mrs. Pularski whispered, nodding toward the youngster in the floor.

"Honestly?" JJ asked tiredly. Seeing the other woman nod, she picked up the plate. "The peas touched the corn…they got scrambled together."

The woman frowned as she glanced from the plate to the toddler. "He had a temper tantrum because his foods touched?"

"He had a melt down because his foods touched," JJ corrected wearily. "A temper tantrum implies the child has made a choice to let his emotions overcome him. A melt down is different; Henry's control is limited. He's easily overwhelmed."

"By two foods touching?" Mrs. Pularski asked incredulously, her eyes widening on the plate JJ held.

"Unfortunately, yes," JJ sighed as she nodded. "You had no way of knowing, Mrs. P. If anybody is to blame here, it's me. "

Shaking her head in amazement, Mrs. P's gaze shifted back to the tow-headed boy. "I'm sorry, Jennifer. I've never dealt with this type of thing before."

"I haven't either. Henry and I are learning as we go. Aren't we, Henry?" JJ called to her son, smiling when he lifted wet eyes to her. "Some of his triggers are fairly consistent and some are less predictable."

"How horrible," the woman murmured, offering JJ a sympathy laden look. "It must be terribly taxing on the nerves."

Stiffening, JJ walked to the sink and dumped the contents of the plate into the garbage disposal. "It can be difficult, but we're coping. Thank you for watching him today," JJ thanked the well-meaning woman as she pulled down two small bowls and scooped spoonfuls of vegetables into each one. Adding a chicken leg to the plate, she carried it back to the table.

"It was my pleasure. I'm just sorry I'm not qualified to….take care of Henry's needs," the babysitter replied carefully.

"One of my colleagues is helping me find a nanny that specializes in care of special needs children. Until we find someone, I think I'm going to take some time off," JJ said softly. "Thanks again for your help today, Mrs. P," she said, guiding the woman toward the front door. If she stared any harder at Henry, JJ was half convinced one of them would burst into flames.

Nodding once more, Mrs. Pularski whispered, "I'll pray for him," before quickly leaving.

Jaw dropping, JJ closed the door behind the woman. "She'll pray for him?" JJ muttered to herself. "He's not possessed for Christ sakes!" Walking back into the kitchen, she crouched in front of Henry and smiled. "I think you and I made quite an impression on that woman," she told her son soothingly. "Do you think you're ready for supper now?"

Bobbing his head slowly as he watched his mother's face, Henry pointed at the kitchen table.

"Yep," JJ agreed, "I think the table is best for eating, too." Carefully extending her hand toward her child, her heart leaped in her chest as he tentatively wrapped his fingers around hers and scooted toward her. She knew better than to push for more physical contact so she happily let her baby boy lead her toward the table.

His eyes were suspicious as they eyed his new Transformers plate. "It's exactly the way you like it, Henry," JJ said, keeping her voice low and calm as she gestured at the food. "Peas in this bowl. Corn in this bowl. And one fried chicken leg. Okay?"

She smiled as Henry nodded eagerly. "Then go ahead, baby. Eat your dinner, and then we can have bath time."

Another smile, JJ thought proudly when her little boy beamed at her. She was up to three today, each one more precious than the last. Those smiles, infinitely dear to her, convinced her that whatever came there way, they'd handle.

That was trust that shined in her baby's eyes. And no matter what, she'd manage to keep that faith burning in those baby blues.

And if that meant having to ask for and accept help, so be it. No sacrifice was too great to make sure Henry had the happy childhood he deserved.

* * *

_Hello, friends! If you've been looking for our M-rated stories, we've found a new home for them! After fanfiction. net began to purge M-rated stories that were questionable according to their Terms of Service, we voluntarily removed our stories and are in the process of loading them on The Writer's Coffee Shop (thewriterscoffeeshop DOT com...make that a real address)._

_To find us, visit TWCS and then choose Library. Then click Authors, choose the I category, then ilovetvalot. Our stories will be listed for you to read!_

_If the story is rated M or NC-17 on that site, registration is required (so they can control the age of the viewers). It only takes about a minute to set up an account! Click Library, then choose Register from the left-side menu. Fill in the information requested (and you only have to give the information that is required with astericks!). You will receive a confirmation email and then be able to view all sorts of amazing stories!_

_We are continuing to post on , and we enjoy this site very much. However, in order to be in compliance with 's rules, we will be posting our M-rated stories at TWCS, and we will also post certain chapters of our epic stories at TWCS if the chapter strays into the M-rating. We will be updating our profile page very soon to provide you with links and to keep everyone updated on exactly where our stories are located!_

_**TODAY, WE UPDATED OUR ROSSI/GARCIA EPIC, "TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL", AT THE WRITERS COFFEE SHOP. STOP BY AND CHECK OUT CHAPTER 15, ALONG WITH SOME OTHER FUN STORIES ALREADY UPLOADED THERE!**_

_We truly appreciate your continued support, and we look forward to providing you with many more stories in the future! Again, we apologize for any inconvenience._


	14. Chapter 14

_**SPECIAL NOTE: SEPTEMBER signups are now open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE!" Details can be found at the forum.**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Fourteen**

It was as if God was mocking her.

Friday had dawned, bright and sunny with spring-like temperatures in the low eighties. It was perfect weather for spending a leisurely afternoon at the park with your child. Pushing him on the swings while he giggled wildly…a picnic lunch with juice and apples….oh, how those fantasies tantalized her now. It was a reality for most parents, JJ thought enviously, staring out the window as they passed a playground filled with laughing children, their parents scattered about, watching their children play guilelessly. Most of them didn't know how hard it was for a select few of them to have a drama-free trip _anywhere._

"Jen?" Dave's deep voice intruded on her thoughts. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Forcing her eyes away from the scene outside the window, she smiled tightly at him. "Truthfully? Nope."

"Talk, Jen," Dave instructed gently.

Grimacing, JJ stared at his profile for a second. "Anything I say is going to make me sound like a whiny selfish bitch, Dave."

"I seriously doubt that," Dave grunted, shaking his head. "I've been married to a whiny, selfish bitch before, JJ. Trust me, babe, you ain't it."

"Thanks," JJ said, lifting her lips for a bare second.

"Consider this a safe zone," Dave suggested calmly, navigating a turn in a road with ease. "Anything that's said in this vehicle will stay in this vehicle. I hereby give you license to be a bitchy or whiny as you like for the next fifteen minutes. Tell me what's going on in your head." Hearing her light laugh, he smiled and offered her a sidelong glance. She needed to unload on somebody, that much was clear. The tight lines bracketing her bow mouth were more pronounced today as were those blue shadows beneath her eyes. It was clear she wasn't sleeping well. "I know how to keep my mouth shut, Jen," he cajoled. "And frankly, you need to get it out of your system. You don't have to be strong or fair all the time."

"Yeah, I do," JJ countered, her words clipped as she felt herself stiffen. "It's me, Dave. It's me and Henry. So, yeah," she whispered hoarsely, emotion rising to clog her already tight throat, "I do."

"Not here. Not in this car for the next ten minutes, you don't," Dave replied evenly. "Here, you get to be however you wanna be."

"It's obscene for me now, watching children playing in the park," she said, glaring out the window. "Most moms and dads…they get carefree days. Pushing the merry-go-round…flying a kite…normal things. Me? I have to make sure the fucking carrots don't overlap the peas on the plate, Rossi! I have to make sure the green blocks don't go in the red block bin. I have to…" she choked, her anger catching in her throat and making it impossible to speak.

"It's not fair," Dave said calmly, easily navigating the city streets. "Not to your son. Not to you. You can say it, JJ. It's okay to be angry. It's a maddening diagnosis."

"I'm not so self-centered that I don't realize that there are millions of kids that are in much worse condition than Henry, or that there aren't parents out there that are suffering far worse than I am," JJ managed, feeling suddenly ashamed of herself for her outburst.

"You aren't them, Jen, and they aren't you. Yeah, there are plenty of people in a lot of pain in the world, but that doesn't negate your own. Or Henry's. You're allowed to give yourself a beat to come to grips with a new reality. You don't have anything to feel guilty about here."

Offering him a more genuine smile, JJ smiled as she leaned her head back against the seat. "You know, of all the guys I would have expected to accompany me on a trip to Henry's pediatrician, I really never would have thought it would be you."

"Should I be offended by that statement?" Dave smiled crookedly as both his eyebrows raised.

"No!" JJ replied instantly, her cheeks heating. "I just mean….I never suspected that you would be a kid person. First with Jack, now Henry. When you came back, I just never thought you'd be particularly family oriented."

"Surprise," Dave mocked, wriggling his eyebrows. "I grew up in a close family." He shrugged. "There were always kids around. I just never had an opportunity to be a father," he said vaguely.

Knowing she was treading dangerously close to invading his privacy, JJ simply nodded. "You're really great with the boys, Dave," she complimented softly.

"They're good boys to be around," Dave replied. Glancing at the notebook she gripped tightly in her hands, he asked, "Did you make a list of questions?"

"Yeah," JJ answered, glancing down at her purse where the lengthy list now lived. "Although, I think it's impossible to cover everything I want to know in half an hour," she muttered.

"Hit the highlights for now," Dave instructed her gently. "There will be time enough later to learn more."

"Henry's condition certainly isn't going anywhere," JJ grumbled bitterly.

"No," Dave agreed, glancing over his shoulder as he changed lanes, "It isn't. But you can prepare yourself for what to expect. That's what this appointment is for, Jen?" he pointed out as he returned his eyes to the highway.

"Are you sure we shouldn't have brought Henry?" she asked worriedly.

"JJ, this is a chance for you to be as blunt as you like…to ask all those questions that you don't want to ask in front of Henry. He's been diagnosed. You know the results. There's nothing more the Doc can do for the baby until you decide what treatment route you want to take with him."

"I was reading online. There are a lot of medications out there that the experts say can help…"

"_But…" _Dave prodded, knowing from the tone of her voice that she had some serious reservations.

"But I want Henry to be as normal a child as he can be," she whispered. "Everything I read…it just sounded like the medications were designed to make the lives of the people around the child easier, not the kid themselves. I don't want my baby to be a walking zombie, Dave. I want him to _experience_ life. Not experience it through some drugged veil, you know?"

"That's a fair statement. Did the Doc recommend drug intervention for Henry the last time you were there?" Dave asked, frowning in concern.

"No, he just said it was one of several options," JJ replied.

Nodding, Dave murmured, "Let's just hear what he has to say today and go from there, Jen. No one is going to force your hand here. The ultimate decisions are up to you. Let's just get all the facts before we launch toward worst case scenario."

Nodding, JJ sighed. "Have I said thank you yet?" she whispered as she grimaced.

"No thanks are necessary," Dave denied, shaking his head. "Right now, the only thing we need to focus on is finding the best possible course to put Henry on," he declared as he finally reached the pediatrician's parking lot, steering the SUV smoothly into a parking slot. "You ready?" he asked as he twisted off the ignition.

Drawing in a deep breath, JJ nodded. "It can't get any worse, right?"

* * *

_**Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum news: I'll try to keep it brief.**_

_SEPTEMBER signups are open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE!" Details can be found at the forum. _

_There is a new discussion thread available called, "W_HY ARE OUR READERS NOT REVIEWING? We asked, and our readers answered!" _Please check it out and leave a comment._

_We also have another discussion thread entitled __**"**_**The Ups and Downs of Writing an Uncommon Pairing**_**"**__. Please let us know what you think! _

_A continued thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read, review, favorite and alert our stories here on this site. We truly enjoy hearing from each one of you. Also, please check out our "M" stories at __**The Writers Coffee Shop (TWCS)**__ and a Brand New site run by fellow CM authors, Kavi Leighanna, Sienna27 and The Truth Between called __**Fractured-reality. Com**__. If anyone needs a link or direction to the new site, please feel free to contact us through either a private message or while leaving a review and we'll make sure to get back to you. Each former "M" story is getting an overhaul as we publish it AND there are new stories being added all the time there as well._


	15. Chapter 15

_**SPECIAL NOTE: SEPTEMBER signups are open through AUGUST, 31, 2012 for the "THE MIX n MATCH CHALLENGE" and this is the LAST DAY to throw your hat in the ring. C'mon by and take a look. Details can be found at the forum. **_

_**AND NOW THE BIG NEWS- THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review ALL information BEFORE submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HXChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards. PLEASE COME BY THE FORUM AND TAKE A LOOK. EVERY NOMINATION BALLOT IS IMPORTANT!**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Fifteen**

She'd jinxed it. What in the world had possessed her to tempt fate and assume things couldn't get worse, she didn't know. But a full ninety minutes later, she could officially say that she was wrong.

Things could always be worse.

Slumping heavily in the passenger seat of Dave's SUV, JJ slammed her door closed and stared out the window into the mostly deserted parking lot. She barely heard Rossi climbing into the vehicle beside her, her thoughts consumed by the mass of information that had been hurled at her over the last hour and a half.

It was too much. Daunting was too mild a word to describe how she felt about the facts Dr. McCleary had shared with her this afternoon. There was no way one woman could accomplish everything that needed to be done for her son. Truthfully, though, she hadn't heard half of what the distinguished physician had said. Halfway through the appointment, her mind had become too overwhelmed to process one more bit of information.

There was only such much information a brain could comprehend before shut down was inevitable. But she couldn't shut down…not when her son's future depended on her.

Defeated, she shook her head. Whether Dr. McCleary had meant to or not, he had painted the canvas with a fairly bleak future for her son. It was a future adorned with special programs and therapists, drugs and doctor appointments. Hardly the life any mother wanted for her son, but there it was, laid out before her with unflinching honesty.

She couldn't bury her head in the sand anymore and imagine a normal childhood for Henry. She couldn't afford to waste the time those thoughts consumed. Her time needed to be dedicated to helping him reach what Dr. McCleary has referred to as Henry's "optimal potential."

Optimal potential, JJ thought derisively. The medical profession made it sound like her son was some kind of computer program that was being tested in some case study.

"JJ?"

Lifting her head, JJ turned toward the sound of her name and looked at Dave. "Do you feel as numb as I do?" she asked, her voice strained.

"Probably not," Dave replied heavily, honesty coloring his words, "but, I'm not his mother." While not as shocked as JJ, Dave still felt dazed by the past hour. Information had been fired at them from all directions, the kernels of knowledge hitting them with the force of bullets, rapidly and relentlessly. "That," he said, his eyes trailing back to the building they'd just exited, "was a lot for _anyone_ to take in, especially a parent."

"I'm not even sure where to start," JJ whispered, staring down at the folder full of pamphlets and informational material the receptionist had given her. The slim pieces of paper felt like hundred pound weights in her lap, threatening to collapse her very bones with their overwhelming pressure.

"Day to day needs first," Dave stated calmly, watching her lips tighten into a hard thin line. "You heard what the Doc said about order and structure. Henry, more than anything else, needs stability right now. Routine."

"How?" JJ asked desperately, her eyes wide as she turned her gaze to Dave. "I can't even find a qualified nanny willing to take on a special needs child. And I have to work! How else am I going to afford all the therapy my kid needs?"

"JJ, take a breath," Dave urged, reaching out to cover her trembling hand. "You aren't going to find all the answers in one day."

Biting her lip, JJ's eyes watered. Her throat tightened to the point where she was certain she wasn't going to be able to draw in a breath, the atmosphere inside the cab of the truck suddenly oppressive. "I don't see how I can do this. I don't know how to get my son all the help he deserves. I can't even find a babysitter.

"Honey, there's nothing that says that you have to do this all on your own," Dave countered softly, squeezing her fingers as he watched her eyes. Stroking his thumb against her palm, he attempted to will her to listen to his words, to break through the horror that was shining in her eyes. "You have an entire team that would be willing to move heaven and earth for you and Henry. And I'm not going anywhere."

Her chest almost heaving as she drew in a deep breath, the pain sharper than anything she'd ever felt, JJ choked out, "But I'M his mother! I'm the one who's supposed to be able to take care of him! How did I get chosen for this job to be his momma when I can't even put two thoughts together, Dave? How?" Dropping her chin to her chest, she tried to stifle a sob that wouldn't be quelled. In that moment, she was certain that she had failed her son…and she only got one chance at getting this right! "How the hell can I make the right choices when there are so many options on the table?"

The franticness in her voice flew sharply in the small, confined space, and Dave felt his heart break at her pain. He knew that nothing he could say would change her situation, and he'd heard his sister express almost those exact same worries in the past. God, give me the words to break through the shock she's feeling, he silently prayed. "Jen, look at me," Dave ordered gently. Waiting until she raised her head a few inches, he said slowly but assuredly, "Henry is your son. He trusts you to care for him. And he knows that you love him. Because of that, you're going to do what you've been doing…you're going to move whatever mountain gets in the way of what's best for him in order to find him the help he needs. And we're going to help. Put that stuff away and focus on me for a second," he ordered gently, waiting until she slowly flipped the navy blue folder closed and met his eyes. "What is your most _immediate_ concern?"

Breathing deeply, JJ forced herself to consider his question. There were a _lot_ of things that worried her, but the primary issue at the moment was Henry's care during her working hours. "Childcare," she said succinctly, her mind clearing for that moment as she realized that she could analyze this situation in a way that would help them all. "Finding someone qualified to take care of his needs and patient enough to recognize that he can't help these meltdowns he has any more than I can. I can't afford to lose my job. I can't afford a family leave until I find a nanny either. I need the health insurance the Bureau offers, and to take advantage of it, I have to be at my desk, working. That is currently what I consider my most pressing concern."

Nodding, Dave leaned forward to turn the key in the ignition. "Then our first step is to find you somebody that knows what they're doing."

"You say that like you already have somebody in mind," JJ replied, hugging herself as he began to back out of the parking space. For a moment, she felt that there might actually be a small light in the distance. Perhaps it was misguided hope…perhaps it was just despair searching for even a thin thread to grasp hold before the bottom completely fell out of her world. But no matter what the actuality, she was willing to take her chances and trust him.

"That's because I do. We're going to meet her now," Rossi returned evenly, guiding the SUV onto the main road and gunning the accelerator. "I guarantee you, JJ, by the time you get home tonight, that will be one worry no longer on your radar."


	16. Chapter 16

_**SPECIAL NOTE: AND NOW THE BIG NEWS- THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review ALL information BEFORE submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HXChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards. PLEASE COME BY THE FORUM AND TAKE A LOOK. EVERY NOMINATION BALLOT IS IMPORTANT!**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Sixteen**

"As much as I'm enthusiastic about meeting anybody that could help me cope with my current situation, do you think, maybe, we could include Henry, Dave?" JJ asked hesitantly. After this appointment with Henry's physician, all she wanted was to hold her son.

Dave smiled as he nodded, well aware of JJ's thoughts. "I already called Garcia. She's waiting for you in the lobby," he explained as he turned back into the parking garage of the building where they worked. "You go collect the munchkin," he suggested as he pulled in a parking spot beside her car, "I'll get his car seat strapped in the back here and we'll be on our way."

"Dave, you've already spent your afternoon holding my hand," JJ said apologetically, letting out a sigh. "You should be able to enjoy your evening without feeling like you need to entertain me."

"Jen, I don't do anything that I don't want to do. There's somebody you need to meet and I'm taking you to her. Go get your son so that we can get on the road. We're coming up on rush hour," he reminded her, nonplussed at her worries.

Staring at his set expression, JJ gave a short nod. "Okay. If you're sure…"

"I'm positive," he said, opening his own car door. "Now, go," he ordered, smiling faintly as she rolled her eyes. Hell, he knew he could be an autocratic son of a gun, but sometimes, like now, it worked to his advantage.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye until she disappeared into the building. Waiting until she was out of sight, he withdrew his phone from his pocket, making a quick phone call to his sister to let her know they were on their way. Task completed, he made short work of installing Henry's car seat into the back seat of his truck.

By the time he finished, he could hear the telltale click of JJ's heels drawing closer, Henry's unhappy cries heralding her arrival.

"Sorry," she apologized when she reached his vehicle. "He wasn't happy that Aunt Penny had to disturb his nap." She winced when her son's cry pierced the air, echoing in the parking lot.

"He'll fall asleep again once we hit the road," Dave replied, taking the squalling child from her arms and tucking him against his chest. "Isn't that right, Henry?" he asked the child, keeping his voice low and calm.

Henry's cries ceased as he realized Dave was talking to him and he stared at the man with wide-eyed intensity. "P'ay?" he questioned hopefully, requesting permission for his favorite pastime.

"Soon," Dave answered, easily sliding the toddler into his car seat before pressing a button to activate the small DVD screen strapped to the back of his headrest. "In the meantime, I've got Wiggles," he said calmly as he smiled, ruffling Henry's hair as a familiar children's song began on the screen.

Somewhat mollified, Henry relaxed in his seat as JJ watched the scene before her in startled awe. Taking a step back as Dave climbed out of the backseat, she stared at him. "You just go around with Wiggles DVDs?" she asked, amused. "Is there something you want to admit to here, Dave? Like a secret fascination with children's programming?"

Closing the back door with a flick of his wrist, Dave snorted. "Very funny. Even I am capable of Googling toddler television and choosing a couple of vids. Between Jack and Henry, it doesn't hurt to be prepared," he offered with a shrug, circling the SUV to open her car door for her. "Get in and we'll get on the road."

Chuckling as Dave closed her door and retraced his footsteps to climb behind the steering wheel, she waited until he'd started the engine to say, "Do you mind if I ask what our destination is?"

"Not at all," Dave returned easily. "I thought that you might like to meet my sister. She's been where you are, JJ. It might help to hear her story and get a little perspective. Plus, I haven't seen her in a while. Two birds. One stone."

It was a thoughtful gesture. And for a man that liked to keep his personal and private life separate, it was a huge display of his trust in her. "Thank you, Dave," she said softly as the muted sounds of Henry's DVD filled the silence.

Shrugging, he replied, "It's no big deal. Honestly, I think Gina can help you solve one of your other problems, too."

"Gina is your sister?"

"Yep," Dave replied with a nod of his dark head. "And I think she may be the solution for your problem finding a reliable childcare provider for Henry."

"How so?" JJ asked, her ears perking up at that piece of new information.

"She and her husband are having some hard times financially. And since my baby sister stupidly refuses to just accept a loan from me," he grumbled, his jaw clenching unhappily, "She insists that she needs to find a job. Enter our little man in the backseat. She's great with kids, Jen. And she has experience taking care of a child with Henry's challenges. It might be a good solution for everybody involved."

Surprised, JJ considered his position. It _did_ sound like an ideal answer to a lot of different problems. "Do you think your sister might be willing to watch Henry?"

"It can't hurt to ask," Dave replied. "Honestly, I can't think of anyone that would take better care of him."

Pondering the situation, JJ turned to face Dave. "Have you mentioned us to her?" JJ asked as Dave shifted lanes.

"Just that your son was recently diagnosed with autism and you had some questions and concerns," Dave replied truthfully. "I figured that if you liked her, you'd offer her a job. That's entirely up to you, JJ. I'd never try to make those decisions for you."

Smiling faintly, JJ nodded. "I know that," she said, glancing over her shoulder at her dozing son. "But for the record, we're both really grateful for everything you _have_ done for us."

"Let's just hope you still feel that way after your first exposure to the Rossi clan," he replied with a faint chuckle as he turned onto the street where Gina lived.


	17. Chapter 17

**A couple of important notes for today, readers. FIRST, THIS IS THE LAST DAY left to nominate your favorite authors and stories for the 2012 Criminal Minds Profilers Choice Awards hosted by the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. The nomination ballot, rules, and category list can be found there. A link is provided on my profile page. Please remember the deadline for nominations is October 15, 2012.**

**Also, Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum has also commenced the signups for our December challenge - the fandom's annual Christmas Gift Fic Exchange. If you are interested in passing along some Holiday joy, please swing by and sign up. Stories are the gifts that keep on giving. Please give this one a try.**

**As always, thanks to everyone that continues to read our stories!**

* * *

_**SPECIAL SIDE NOTE – Sarah O'Rourke (the professional pen name that ilovetvalot and tonnie2001969 use) has released a NEW book on amazon. Com – Please swing by and check out **__**"The Devil's Snare"**__**. Please check out our other books as well. They are **__**"Inescapable Eye of the Storm"**__** and **__**"The Estate"**__** And please feel free to friend Sarah O'Rourke on facebook!**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Seventeen**

Minutes later, Dave pulled his SUV against the well maintained curb of a nice subdivision community. Glancing out the window at the modest rambling ranch home, JJ had to admit that after seeing Dave's home, this wasn't really what she'd expected for his sister's home to look like.

Dave must have sensed her confusion because he grumbled, "Neither of them will take my money. It's not like I have dozens of heirs running around. But Gina and her husband refuse to take a dime from me. Other than the money for their son's doctors and therapies. I didn't give them much of a choice on that score."

JJ could respect that. A lot of times, taking money came with strings. Even with family. And while she didn't necessarily think that Rossi was the type of man to take advantage of that, she knew she wouldn't want to put herself in that position either if she could avoid it.

"It's nice," she commented as she smiled. "It looks like a happy neighborhood."

"It is, otherwise, I'd cram the money down my sister's throat, her precious pride be damned," Dave muttered, opening his car door.

Smiling to herself, JJ privately gave thanks that it just wasn't her family alone that had the market cornered on volatile dynamics. Evidently the Rossi clan had their own special undercurrent as well. "You and your sister _are _on good terms, right? I mean you aren't launching some kind of sneak attack here, are you?" she asked as he pulled open Henry's door and unlatched the squirming child from his own seat.

"No," Dave replied with a short shake of his head. "Believe me, I wouldn't subject anybody to my crazy brood without some advance warning on both sides." He grinned as the front door opened to the house across the street from them.

"Do you guys need any help out there, Dave?" a deep voice called from the shaded porch.

Turning, JJ spotted a man wearing a faded blue factory shirt shaded his eyes against the afternoon sun. "Your brother-in-law?" JJ asked softly, lifting a hand to wave weakly at the man.

"Yeah," Dave grunted, shifting Henry to his hip as he slammed the door closed. "That's Joey," he remarked. "We've got it, Joe," he called to the tall man as he took JJ's arm and guided her across the street and up the cement steps of the porch.

Smiling at the woman that joined her husband on the threshold, JJ knew that she must be Dave's sister. Gina Rossi Facelli smiled widely when she saw her brother. "Dave! There you are! Joe and I were beginning to think you'd gotten lost along the way. And you must be JJ." The dark haired woman smiled easily as she stretched her hand out to shake JJ's. "I'm Gina. And this big oaf is my husband Joe," she introduced them, jerking her head toward her towering husband.

"Nice, Gina." Joe grimaced, rolling his eyes at Dave. "She's pissed at me again. Ignore her."

"Well, how many Italians does it take to fix a simple clogged sink, Joey? I swear, he had half the neighborhood here last night and the sink is _still_ clogged," Gina explained with a conspiratorial eye roll at JJ. "Call a plumber, for cryin' out loud."

Laughing as her husband stuck his tongue out behind Gina's hair, JJ took Henry into her arms. "It's nice to meet you both. This is my son, Henry," JJ said, jostling the little boy on her hip. "Can you say hi, Henry?" JJ asked softly as the toddler buried his face in her neck, shy of strangers on a good day.

"Ah, he's adorable." Gina smiled gently, gesturing inside the house as she took a step back. "Come inside, please," she invited, exchanging a look with her brother as JJ crossed the threshold. "Dave's told us very little about his colleagues. You're the first one we've met," she said, leading JJ into the comfortable living room. "Tell us, is Davey as much of a pain in the ass there as he is at home with us?" she asked, winking at her brother.

"Can it, Gina," Dave muttered gruffly, kissing his sister's cheek as he stepped around her.

"Hey, I'm just asking if these control issues you've got bleed out of the family and into work," Gina returned carelessly.

"It's not controlling to wanna lend you two the money for someplace nicer," Dave retorted.

"This _is_ nice," Gina returned, used to the arguments of her brother. "Compared to where Mama and Pop raised us, this place is the Ritz and you know it."

"Okay, you two," Joe sighed, holding up his hands between brother and sister. "You're both gonna make JJ uncomfortable," he said with a nod to where JJ sat with Henry on her lap. "Not for nothin', but I think you guys should stuff the standard arguments between you."

"It's not like I ever win one anyway," Gina grumbled, sitting down beside JJ.

"I'd say you have; you're still living _here_, aren't you?" Dave mumbled under his breath.

Trying not to laugh out loud, JJ looked at Gina. "Dave was telling me that you have a son that was diagnosed with autism," JJ said softly, as much to distract Gina from her ongoing battle with her brother as anything else. "Henry was just formally diagnosed as well. I think Dave had us referred to the same doctor."

"Doctor MacCleary." Gina nodded eagerly. "He's the absolute best, JJ. You won't be sorry. He did wonders for our Andrew," she enthused, pointing at the pictures on the opposite wall.

Looking over Henry's head, JJ spotted the portraits of a happy smiling boy with a distant look in his eyes. "He's very handsome, Gina."

"Not real interested in the girls," Gina replied with a little shrug. "_Or _the boys," Gina added when her husband cleared his throat and stared at her. "He's quite private, but he was excited to start his first semester at school this year. He's interested in computer programming. I swear that kid could hack into NASA if he took a notion to do it."

"You must be very proud," JJ murmured, dropping a longing look down at Henry's bent head.

"I am, but it hasn't always been so easy," Gina returned truthfully, glancing up and giving the men a pointed look.

"JJ, Gina and Joey have a swing set in the backyard. Why don't Joey and I take Henry out back for some fresh air and let you girls talk about whatever it is that girls talk about," Dave offered.

"S'ing?" Henry asked, his small ears picking up on that important word.

"Swing, buddy." Dave nodded. "Wanna go check it out with Uncle Dave?" he asked, holding out his hand.

Reluctantly sliding out of JJ's lap, Henry wrapped his hand around one finger. "S'ing," he repeated softly with a look over his shoulder at his mother.

"It's okay." JJ nodded and smiled. "Go swing with Uncle Dave."

"Right this way." Joey grinned as he opened the back door and guided the other two out into the sunshine.

Waiting until the door had closed behind them, Gina offered JJ an understanding smile. "You look like you've been hit by a semi," she stated bluntly. "And I've got a cure for that."

"You do?"

"Yup," Gina nodded, leading JJ into the kitchen where she picked up two bottles from the counter. "Solution one," she said, holding up the bottle of red wine, "and solution two," she said, brandishing the bottle of white. "You're the guest, which one?"

"Red." JJ laughed, privately thinking that she could really learn to like Gina Rossi Facelli.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Author's Note: We are pleased to share all of the wonderful Christmas stories that have been posted by our fellow CM authors on the Christmas Gift Fic Exchange on the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. All of your favorite Criminal Minds characters are featured in these great Christmas fics, so check them out today.**_

_**And if you're looking for a change of pace, then head on over to Amazon and get a FREE copy of The Estate, a Kindle release from Sarah O'Rourke (our alter ego). It's an erotic romp that is deliciously depraved! It is free for January 1, 2013! And don't forget...if you don't have a Kindle, you can download the free app to read any book on your PC, iPad, Android, etc. For details, check out our Sarah O'Rourke's Facebook page at facebook DOT com SLASH Sarah DOT Orourke DOT 507. (And while you're searching for new and exciting reads, check out Sarah's other books!)**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Eighteen**

An hour later, JJ peered out the window and watched as her son kicked his feet in the air as Dave gave his back another gentle push. "How much longer do you think that they'll keep it up back there?" she asked, smiling as she released the curtain and returned to her seat at the table.

Shrugging, Gina merely smiled. "As long as the kid is having fun if I know those guys. Damn shame that Dave never had his own to spoil," she complained with a sigh. "If ever there was a guy cut out for fatherhood, it was him."

"He's excellent with Henry," JJ agreed slowly, nodding as she realized that simple fact.

"I'll bet. He got a lot of experience with Drew. When other family members were going out of their way to avoid us and our _special_ kid," she said, using air quotes, "Dave stepped up."

"Your family treated you differently?" JJ asked, silently disgusted by that fact.

"People tend to fear and avoid what they don't understand, JJ," Gina surmised gently. "It wasn't that they were trying to be cruel. Well, not most of them, at any rate. It was just that rather than get educated about Andrew's condition, they just decided to alternately ignore and avoid it." Seeing the look of dismay in JJ's face, she added. "It was okay, JJ. Andrew was better off without that kind of negativity around him."

JJ sighed once again, her heart suddenly heavy in her chest. "I guess I've got a lot to learn."

"Give yourself some credit, JJ," Gina said cheerfully, winking at the younger blonde. "You're getting your head wrapped around the fact that this is even happening to your kid a lot faster than Joey and I did. It took us almost a year to believe what the experts were telling us. You're already working on a treatment plan. That's _huge_."

"You think so?" JJ mumbled, staring down at her glass of wine.

"I _do_," Gina said, covering JJ's hand with hers. "Take it from somebody that has already walked down this road. I won't lie and say that there aren't gonna be some _really_ shitty days that will make the record books, but there are gonna be a whole lot more wonderful days. It's just hard to see right now."

"It just feels surreal right now. I mean, this isn't the childhood that I had planned for my little boy, Gina. He was supposed to have play dates and sleepovers. Preschool and parties."

"And he's still going to have _all_ those things. They're gonna take a little more planning now. You're gonna have to leap over a few challenges, but there's nothing you're talking about that he _can't_ do with time."

"You make it sound easy," JJ replied, looking up into the woman's understanding brown eyes.

"Oh, it's gonna be anything but. You're gonna feel like your ass has been kicked on a regular basis, my girl. Then, just when you think you have a plan…a map…your kid is gonna up and change directions on you, and you'll struggle to re-chart the journey. But," she said with a smile, "You will do it because it's what is best for _him_. Before long, it'll feel like a minor blip on the radar…just an average day in the Jareau household."

"Are you kidding?" JJ asked, slack jawed.

"Unfortunately, no. I'm not, sweetie." Gina's voice was kind and she eyed her new friend with compassion. "The first thing…and I mean the _very_ first thing that you need to do is find somebody you trust to confide in because you are _going_ to need a sounding board."

"You wouldn't be volunteering for the job, would you?" JJ asked, only half-joking. She needed a person that understood what she was facing, and Gina was qualified in spades. Kind, but no pushover, she would give JJ the honesty she needed to make good choices without telling her only what she needed to hear in the moment. She was a straight shooter that wouldn't tolerate bullshit for long. JJ assumed that might just be a trait unique to the Rossi family.

"God knows that I've got the experience." Gina grinned and lifted her glass, the high pitched ching of crystal meeting crystal audible in the kitchen.

"You also have another kind of experience that I'm, looking for, Gina," JJ remarked seriously. "Dave mentioned that you might be interested, too," she added hopefully.

"I'm intrigued," Gina drawled, lifting her wine glass. "Please, continue."

"Would you want a job outside the home?" JJ asked, trying to keep from begging. This woman would be the perfect candidate for Henry. "You see, I'm not in a position where I could quit my job. Henry's father…he's not part of our picture anymore. I _have_ to work. But, I also need to know that my son is secure and well cared for. You have experience on your side. You've already said you love kids…especially children like ours…."

"JJ," Gina laughed, "Slow down. You're going to hyperventilate at this rate. As you can tell," she said, lifting her glass and motioning around the kitchen at the haphazardly stacked dishes and the tools strewed by the open doors to the cupboard below her sink, "I need to work. Repairs don't come free. Of course, I'm interested. I'm assuming you'd rather this care be provided in your home. Autistic children have a much better time if they are surrounded by familiarity. A new person will be hard…a new person _and_ a different house…that'd be…_really_ hard."

"I was hoping that you'd be amenable to that. I'd be happy to provide you with a vehicle allowance as well as an hourly wage," JJ offered quickly. Hell, she'd offer this lady as much of the moon as she could afford if she'd agree to give this a try.

"I'd be happy to give it a shot," Gina replied with a nod. "When did you want me to start?"

"Honestly, as soon as humanly possible. I'm figuring things out day to day right now and it's not exactly conducive to the stable environment the physician recommended for Henry," she said with a lingering look toward the window.

"It's okay, JJ," Gina said softly. "You can't put a complete plan in place overnight. How about Monday? I could come over tomorrow and get the lay of the land and you could see how Henry and I get along one on one. I know I grilled every babysitter that I ever hired before I trusted her with my baby. I assume you feel the same way."

"I'm just relieved that you understand," JJ replied gratefully.

"Moms like us have to stick together," Gina returned flatly. With a sympathetic smile, she added, "It's how we survive."


	19. Chapter 19

_Author's Note: We wanted to thank everyone for reading this story and for giving us the opportunity to share our world. Both of us (Tracia and Tonnie) are the parents of special needs children. Tracia's son has medical challenges & autism, and Tonnie's daughter has severe, life-threatening medical challenges. This story is told through the eyes of mothers who have walked the walk and talked the talk. This is not theory to us or just a good story that we've researched….this is something we both have lived and continue to barely survive by the skin of our teeth. While we appreciate all of the suggestions (and trust us, in both this story and real life, we've heard them ALL!), please try to remember that theory is far different than practice. Thank you for your continued support, and we hope you continue to enjoy this story!_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Nineteen**

"This little tyke had one exhausting afternoon," Dave said softly as he carried Henry into his bedroom, gently settling the child into his bed as JJ pulled his sneakers off and dropped them to the floor.

"He had fun," JJ replied on a whisper. She smiled down at her son, one smooth cheek pressed to the pillow as he turned onto his side and stuck his thumb into his mouth. "I actually think I heard him giggle. I can't tell you the last time that happened. Occasionally, I can get a smile out of him, but a laugh is rare," she admitted, trailing her fingers over his downy hair and tucking a wayward strand behind his ear.

"Mission accomplished, then. Henry had a great day, and we found you some of that help you were worried about finding. Two birds, one stone," Dave returned in a hushed voice as he pulled the covers over the sleeping boy. JJ had already denied the need to change him into pajamas, claiming that sleeping in his little shirt and jeans wouldn't hurt for one night. There was no sense waking a sleeping child.

He couldn't have agreed with that theory more.

Following the younger woman out of the room, he smiled faintly. All in all, it had proven to be a productive day. Stressful and overwhelming at different points, but overall, it had been a success. "You feeling any better?" he asked when they entered the living room.

"Much," JJ said with a relieved smile over her shoulder. "Can I get you a drink? I feel like I owe you a debt I'll never manage to repay after today, Dave. A glass of wine is all I have to offer at the moment though."

"I'll take it and be grateful for it," he said with a wink. He'd refused to drink at his sister's house, knowing that he'd be driving Henry and JJ home. While the risk would have been negligible at best, it still hadn't been worth it to him. Now, however, less than a few miles from his own place, he felt safe imbibing in a couple of glasses of whatever she was offering.

Watching her through the window to the kitchen, he saw her reach for a bottle of wine on the counter and search through one of the drawers for a corkscrew. Smiling as she struggled with the stubborn cork, he offered, "Need some help in there?"

"I'd say you've given more than your fair share of assistance today, Dave," she answered ruefully, still pulling at the stubborn cork. "But, yeah," she finally conceded when she blew a strand of hair from her face. "A hand might be nice. Again."

Easily circling to enter the kitchen, he took the dark bottle from her outstretched hand with a grin. "Grab the glasses," he suggested while he pulled the cork from the bottle with a soft pop. "Ahhh, the sweet spoils of success," he said with satisfaction, pouring the red wine into the two glasses she held aloft for him.

Offering him his own glass, JJ stole a sips from her own. The sweet fluid filled her mouth, soothing her frayed nerves while she followed him back into her small living room. Her home was a far cry from his, but it was comfortable and, despite the obvious differences in their financial backgrounds, he seemed comfortable here, too.

"You're staring at me, JJ," Dave stated evenly. "Say what's on your mind," he invited, taking a seat in one of the deep recliners by the couch.

"It's just…you aren't exactly what you seem, are you?" she asked curiously, folding one leg under her as she took a seat in the corner of the couch nearest him.

"Is anybody?" he returned with an easy grace. "I don't think you need me to tell you that a lot of things contribute to who a person becomes in life, JJ. And those components are constantly evolving."

"Spoken like a true profiler." JJ smirked, taking another sip of her wine. "But you, Dave," she said, pointing one finger at him from around her glass, "You like to cultivate a certain image. And you willingly showed me something different today."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Dave replied negligently, leaning his head back as he sipped his wine.

"Bull. You present yourself as this wealthy guy that works because it amuses him to do so. The car…the mansion…the spiffy suits. At heart, though, you're just a blue collar guy from a middle class neighborhood that has a _real_ family with _real_ problems. It's also a family that steadfastly refuses to use you to improve their situation in spite of your best efforts to the contrary. But still, you work really hard to keep anybody from knowing about it. Yet, you trusted me enough to share your background. Why?"

"Don't make me into some kind of saint, JJ. You needed some help. I had a way to get it for you," Dave brushed her off, shifting in his chair uncomfortably.

"Dave?" Waiting until he looked at her, she ordered, "Don't bullshit me."

Hearing her serious demand, he cleared his throat. "Look, sometimes it's easier to let people believe whatever they wanna believe about me. I long ago gave up trying to convince people I'm a decent guy. Besides, if people think I'm a snobby asshole, they leave me alone. Which I like…for the most part. Right up until I run into a legitimately good person that could use a hand…that becomes part of a surrogate family that I don't admit very many people into. Then, let's just say that if I have any influence, I'm not afraid to use it. And in case you missed it, you're doing my sister a favor, too. God knows, she won't take _my_ money," he grumbled.

"And that bugs the hell out of you, doesn't it?" JJ asked with a small smile.

"Hell, yes," Dave growled, staring into his glass. "We grew up hard. We were loved, but things were _always_ tight. There was never enough of anything. And now, when I have it to share, with somebody that _deserves_ it, she won't come off her moral high ground and accept my help."

"She and her husband have their pride. They took help for their son, didn't they?" JJ questioned softly, raising one eyebrow.

"That's different," Dave muttered. "Seriously, I sign three alimony checks a month for three of the most vapid women on earth, you'd think they'd let me pay for a fucking plumber," he mumbled around his glass, draining it in a swallow.

"Face it, Rossi," JJ replied with a gentle smile and a tip of her glass. "You're officially one of the good guys."

* * *

_Check out some of the new Vacation Challenge fics that have been posted by the great Criminal Minds authors at Chit Chat on Authors Corner. There's a new thread devoted to this latest challenge, and we hope you'll enjoy the great new reads!_

_While you're at the forum, check out all of the wonderful stories that were posted on the Christmas Gift Fic Exchange! From your favorite pairing to snowmen and jingle bells, our fellow authors have created some amazing fics just for your enjoyment!_

_Calling all readers of Sarah O'Rourke (our alter ego!) We have just lowered the price of The Devil's Snare to only 99 cents on Kindle. You can grab your copy today on at (slash) author (slash) sarahorourke, and choose The Devil's Snare! (Sarah also has three other books published…check them all out!)_


	20. Chapter 20

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Twenty**

JJ's earlier words still echoed in his ears hours later. Was he one of the so-called good guys? He was manipulating her, allowing her to believe that the insurance was paying for Henry's medical care. He'd even maneuvered the person he believed capable of helping the young boy into position as his nanny. True, he was helping, but at what cost?

If JJ ever found out that he'd gone behind her back – even to help her son – she'd put his head on a stick and march it up and down the street. That stubborn woman's pride rivaled his own. And coming from him, that was saying _a lot_, he thought grimly as he took another sip from the scotch he'd poured himself after returning to his own lonely house this evening.

Stirred from his pondering by the ringing of his landline, Dave reached for the cordless phone with one hand. "Rossi," he answered on a growl. He wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with telemarketer pandering their wares tonight.

"Well, hello to you, too, Sunshine," Gina mocked her older brother. "Problems?"

"Gina?"

"Do you have another sister that would call to torture you tonight?" she teased, a smile in her voice.

Sighing, Dave settled back into his chair. "I guess not," he admitted ruefully, using one hand to swirl the liquor in his glass.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" she asked curiously, twirling her hair around her index finger as she pulled her feet underneath her and reached for the throw on the back of her sofa.

"No, I just got back in," Dave replied, striving for patience. If there was one thing he was certain of, it was that his sister had a knack for sensing when he needed an ear. Her phone call wasn't exactly a surprise. She'd always been able to feel when he needed her. Problem was, he didn't particularly feel like talking about his current situation. If he did, Gina would suck him in and he'd blurt everything out to her before he could stop himself.

"From JJ's house, I assume," Gina drawled, propping her chin in her hand as she waited for her brother to answer her question.

"You already know it was," Dave grumbled, feeling a flush rising on his cheeks.

"I liked her, Davey. I liked her _a_ _lot_," Gina said with a grin. "And I never like any woman you bring to the house. She's different. And yet, she's exactly how you described her."

"She's a friend, Gina. That's _all_," Dave returned steadfastly. Damn it, his sister was all too talented at reading between the lines and sniffing out his innocent deception. She was like a bloodhound in that way, and more than once he had thought that _she_ would have made the better profiler.

"Sorry, brother mine, but I've gotta call bullshit on that one. I saw the way you looked at her. I also watched the way you looked at little Henry," Gina countered. "If it matters, however, I wholeheartedly approve."

"First off, you're imagining things. JJ is a friend. No more, no less. And as for your approval, I don't recall ever waiting with baited breath to hear _what_ you thought of anything I've done."

"Either you are in some serious denial _or_ you're doing your damnedest to try and ignore what's obvious as the nose on your face. Which one is it?"

"Gina," Dave groaned and lifted a hand to rub the tight nape of his neck, "Just do me a favor and stay out of it. JJ needed somebody that was accustomed to dealing with special kids. Naturally, you seemed like a perfect fit. I just facilitated a meeting. That's it. There were no hidden motives in bringing her to meet you. She and I are friends. You do remember that word, right?"

"You don't _have_ friends that are women. You have colleagues. You have women that you consider family. You've got ex-wives. You've had girlfriends. But, you have never in the history of your life had a female that was strictly what could be termed as a friend."

"JJ is different," Dave replied briskly, leaning forward to reach for the bottle of Glenlivet on the coffee table and pouring another measure into his glass.

"Again, I agree completely," Gina returned eagerly. "Unlike the other women you've dragged in here over the years, this one actually possessed a soul, _and_ she wasn't at least fifty percent plastic parts. I'm impressed," she praised dryly.

"C'mon, G. Back off. JJ is caught between a rock and a hard place. I'm just trying to help her and her kid out a little. There isn't any grand scheme in play here. Just take it at face value."

"I know JJ's in a rough place," Gina conceded softly. "I've been in that spot myself. That's why I agreed to help her. Plus, the extra money doesn't hurt. And that little boy is a doll. But, please stop trying to delude yourself, Big Brother. You know you feel something a lot deeper than friendship for those two. If you won't admit it to me, then at least be straight with yourself."

Hanging his head, Dave smiled faintly. His sister was nothing if not determined. "Look," he said softly, "How I feel about JJ and Henry doesn't matter right now. She's been thrown into the deep end of the pool without a life preserver. The _only_ thing I'm concerned about is making sure she and her son don't drown. I can handle the financial end of things for her."

"That woman is never gonna accept your money, Davie," Gina denied with a snort.

"That woman is never gonna know the money is coming from me," Dave returned evenly. "She's going to think the amazing insurance we have at the Bureau is covering Henry's treatment. I've already arranged it."

"So you're up to your old tricks and managing things behind the scenes," Gina griped irritably, flopping against the arm of her couch. "Didn't you learn your lesson on that score with me?"

"You eventually forgave me," Dave replied carelessly, sipping his drink again. "Besides, if the choice is between what I'm doing and letting the kid go without the help I can so easily provide, which would you do?"

"I…I honestly don't know," Gina said truthfully. "But you are right. The kid does need the therapy. It did wonders for my kid."

"I know," Dave agreed. "Hopefully having you in her corner, too, will provide her some relief, too. You've got the insight into this thing that she needs, Gina. JJ desperately needs a support network, sis. I can only do so much here. The team and I can be there for her, but we don't know what she's going through. You do. Some things just require another woman and given the fact that you've already been where she's going, I thought you'd be the best choice."

"I wouldn't have accepted the job if I didn't think I was qualified for it, Dave. I'll help JJ and Henry any way I can. But, if you ask me, she also needs a good man. Things don't look quite so grim when you've got a partner. I could never have gotten through this without Joey."

"Well, keep those thoughts to yourself," Dave ordered. "JJ has enough on her plate right now without somebody pushing a relationship on her that she's not ready to have."

"Fine," Gina muttered, surreptitiously crossing her fingers and thanking the Lord that her brother couldn't see her now. "I'll keep my mouth shut. For now. But, Davey, just remember that you can't hide how you feel forever," she warned before hanging up on him.

Frowning, Dave dropped his own phone back to the table beside him. Glaring at it, he broodingly took another sip from his glass.

Yeah, his sister definitely should have been a profiler because one thing was certain.

She had his number.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Dear Friends,**_

_**It's been a while again, I know. With the hubby out of the country and both kids birthdays during the month of February, it's been a hugely busy time. Oh, the joy of being a military wife! But, I'm trying to be more consistent with updates now. We'll see how it goes. To those who have asked, NOTHING is being abandoned. It's just taking me awhile to get updated. My writing partner and I are working to bring you both quality chapters of fanfiction AND new, professional work by our pen name, Sarah O'Rourke. Those books are available on amazon and kindle. I hope you'll check it out. ALSO, to those that have asked, our story, "Unexpected Surprises" is no longer available on fanfiction. We have taken it down to revamp it into an original work for Sarah O'Rourke. We'll let you know when it is available. We hope you won't be disappointed.**_

_**Thank you for sticking with us! We adore hearing from you!**_

_**All our best,**_

_**Ilovetvalot and tonnie2001969**_

_**P.S. – For anyone interested, our newest challenge for April (The Everything's Coming up… Flowers Challenge) is available at the Criminal Minds forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". Please come by and check it out. We'd adore having you participate! The more the merrier!**_

* * *

**From Where I'm Sitting**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

"So, this is how you finally got through to your son?" JJ asked as she glued Velcro to the back of another laminated picture the next afternoon.

Nodding, Gina trimmed the plastic off the picture of a child's lunch that she was working on. "The big emphasis for kids like Henry and my boy is routine. Routine, routine, routine. Learn it, like it, love it," she advised with a smile. "I tell you this because you will quickly learn to live and breathe it if you want any kind of peace in your life. That's where this calendar that we're making for him comes in," she said with a nod at the dining room table where they sat working.

"The key is that every time you change an activity with him… like going from dinner to brushing his teeth…. You show him on the calendar and let him stick it in the 'What's happening box'," she said, holding up a picture of the child brushing his teeth and plopping it in the aforementioned box.

"So, seeing it on the board," JJ remarked, tapping the white poster board with her index finger, "helps him make the transition?"

Nodding, Gina took a quick swig from her can of soda. "Theoretically. Most autistic children have to _see_ what you want them to do. Seeing the picture gives them an extra push in the right direction. Think of it as a visual positive reinforcement."

Seeing the doubtful look on JJ's face, Gina smiled. She'd had her doubts at first, too. The calendar had worked, however, and she'd had to admit to her boy's doctor that he'd been right. "Give it a couple of weeks, but I'm willing to make a bet that by the end of the first week, Henry will be running to change the pictures between activities."

"Hey, I'm not going to question somebody that's already been through this. It's just…Henry's attention span can be virtually non-existent."

"That's why routine is so vital," Gina explained. "Look, I realize that you can't map out every minute of every day. That'd be impossible. But, you can have a template. That's all this is – a template for Henry's day. Once he learns it, then it will be second nature for him."

"And if this doesn't work?" JJ asked with a nod toward the pile of pictures.

"Then we'll figure out something else to try," Gina replied easily. "JJ, a _lot_ of this is going to be trial and error. You just have to be patient and see what works for your little guy. I know it's hard, but you've got to remind yourself that all of this is going to take time. You're not going to notice a drastic change right away. In my experience, any drastic change I saw in my kid wasn't for the better. Progress is gradual. It'll be measured in millimeters for a while."

Sighing heavily, JJ nodded. "I guess you've noticed that waiting isn't exactly my specialty, huh? I've always been more of an instant gratification kind of girl."

"When it comes to finding something that helps our kids, any mother is gonna be impatient. We want to help them. It's a natural desire. Just try to keep reminding yourself that Rome wasn't built in a day," Gina remarked gently, patting the other woman's hand. "All good things come to those willing to wait. God, I'm just full of clichés this afternoon, aren't I?" she asked with a disgusted laugh. "You must want to smack me something awful."

"No," JJ denied quickly, her eyes widening as she shook her head.

"Oh, please," Gina sniffed. "When I was in your place, I wanted to knock the hell out of every single person that smiled and promised it would get better. Usually, it was some perky little mother with picture perfect kids that was spouting at me. I'm actually amazed that I didn't go to jail for assault and battery a time or two."

Laughing at Gina's refreshing honesty, JJ nodded. "Yeah," she agreed. "I've caught myself holding back a punch or two lately. Most recently, at the grocery store," JJ admitted with a sigh, reaching for her own soda. "Henry started to have a tantrum as we were in line to pay for our stuff. The lady behind me said something about parents not disciplining their children anymore. I think I popped a blood vessel trying not to go for her neck."

"People have no clue what a day in our lives is like. They don't understand that the peas can_not_ touch the potatoes or that nap time _must_ be at one o'clock _exactly_. They mistake meltdowns and sensory overload for a good old fashioned temper tantrum. Sometimes I would almost let myself throw a temper tantrum to demonstrate the difference."

Nodding at the recognition of the same traits in in her own son, JJ asked anxiously, "It gets easier, though, right?"

"I want to be kind and lie to you … to tell you that, yes, absolutely, it gets easier, but it doesn't. What it does get is more manageable. You'll learn Henry's triggers and avoid them. He'll start to be able to verbalize or sign his feelings."

"Sign?" JJ echoed. "Henry's hearing isn't impaired."

"No, it's not," Gina agreed. "A lot, but by far not all, autistic children have difficulty speaking. Many are speech delayed. They just seem to despise the interaction. So, in an effort to reach them, doctors recommended that we teach them sign. It actually has yielded great results. My son could sign before he would speak. We all learned. Even Dave."

"Rossi knows how to sign?"

"Enough to get him by. Mostly rudimentary stuff," Gina explained, her own fingers flicking in a few simple twists. "His skills might be rusty, but I'm betting that it all comes flooding back to him."

"I can't deny that your brother's been a godsend," JJ whispered, mindful that Dave was only a room away playing trucks with Henry.

"He's a handy guy to have around," Gina said impassively, watching JJ's face out of the corner of her eye. When she saw the other woman dreamily smile, her own lips twitched. "How long have you two known each other?"

"Me and Dave?" JJ asked.

"No, you and Henry," Gina deadpanned.

Rolling her eyes, JJ teased, "I see you share the Rossi sense of sarcasm."

"It's a gift."

Laughing at the quick response, JJ replied, "I think it's been about six years, but we've only gotten closer in the last couple. He was kind of a closed book when he came back to the Bureau."

"That comes from being burned by so called loved ones one time too many," Gina replied as she grimaced. "I'll tell ya, some of those women he married…"

"I've heard." JJ shuddered. "Between what I've read in the tabloids and what Dave has mentioned, I'm surprised he hasn't chosen to enter the priesthood."

"Believe me, we tried to talk him into it when we finally got rid of that last little tart that had her claws hooked into him. Father Jimmy staged an intervention and everything. Alas, he chose the Bureau over self-imposed celibacy."

Both women laughed as the door to the kitchen swung open.

"Something funny in here?" a deep voice asked.


End file.
